Dreams of Sex and Stage Diving by Martin Millar Read Free Book Online

of their house. He was too objectionable for anyone but Cary and Lilac to share four walls with him, and he had long ago collapsed into alcoholism. When he could afford it Dennis drank Special Brew for breakfast and cider for lunch before finishing off his day by sharing whatever drink was available with the equally far gone alcoholics who sat around in groups on the benches in Brixton Road. Dennis was rather younger than most of them but with his ever-reddening face and lack of control of his spittle he was beginning to fit in well.

    It was not possible to save money in a house where Dennis lived. He would not stop to think before taking it to buy drink. And though he was normally to be found with his head on the kitchen floor, dribbling, Cary and Lilac had already found to their cost that in his rare moments of sobriety Dennis was remarkably adept at finding money.
    Consequently they decided to hide their savings in their back garden, in a tin, buried in the one small space that was uncovered by concrete. While Dennis was well out of the way, entertaining the shoppers in Brixton Road with his amusing begging, they dug a small hole, placed a tin under the ground and began to hoard their pennies.

fifteen
    Shoot an elephant
Fell a tree
Make it into a brooch for me
Of shiny wood and i-vor-y
Shoot an elephant
Fell a tree
    This was one of Elfish’s songs, though not one that had ever gone down particularly well with the women she lived with. She hummed it as she strolled into the pub and bought a pint of lager.
    â€œHow’s your brother?” asked Tula, one of Elfish’s few friends, as they sat waiting their turn on the pool table.
    â€œCatastrophically depressed.”
    â€œStill? His girlfriend left him months ago.”
    â€œThat’s nothing for my brother. I’d give him two years or so before he comes out of this one. Aran stays depressed about things for a long time. He still feels very bad that they changed the name of his favourite chocolate from Marathon to Snickers, and that was years ago. Every time he reads some Ancient Greek history about the battle of Marathon he starts complaining about it again. Says
he had no problem at all asking for a Marathon in a sweetshop but he’s completely unable to say the word ‘Snickers’. It was a very severe blow, chocolate-wise.”
    Tula nodded in sympathy.
    â€œWell, I guess it will take him a long time to get over his girlfriend.”
    â€œHe won’t ever really get over it,” said Elfish. “But eventually the bad feelings will be superseded by some new disaster. My brother is a real mess. But then, so is everyone I know. Apart from Cary and Lilac, who always seem happy. No doubt they will come to a bad end. I hope they come to a bad end. If they don’t come to a bad end I will kill them.”
    A long row of coins lay on the side of the pool table, reserving the next game for whoever had placed them there. In this pub the winner stayed on the table, so that when Elfish’s coin came up she had to beat the winner of the last game before she could play with her friend. This she duly did, potting the black while her opponent still had five balls left on the table. He moved to shake her hand but Elfish ignored him.
    As Elfish broke in the next game Tula could not help noticing how dirty Elfish’s hands were.
    â€œHave you given up washing?”
    â€œYes. I’ve no time to go around other people’s houses looking for a bath. I’m too busy with everything. After this game I have to find a guitarist who will play everything I tell them to, and that’s never easy. They always have stupid ideas of their own.”
    Elfish was delayed a little, though, because after beating Tula she stayed on the table. She defeated her next four opponents, which gave her intense satisfaction.

sixteen
    [ STAGE DIVING WITH ELFISH ]
    Elfish and Amnesia had been close friends for some years. Their friendship ended about