Driving Big Davie (Dan Starkey) by Colin Bateman Read Free Book Online

break.
    Alcohol, no matter how practised you are at it, is a real mind-fucker. It conspires to turn coincidence into conspiracy. I could see it in Dr Boyle's eyes, and in the way he had the temerity to suggest that the fact that I'd removed the number-plates from my car shortly before the incident was somehow indicative of my desire to also remove Tony from this mortal coil. Clearly, nothing could have been further from the truth. Besides, as I pointed out to him, only a complete idiot would remove his number-plates in an attempt to hide his identity, but neglect to remove the letters emblazoned across the front windscreen: Dan & Patricia. They had been there all the way through our marriage and subsequent separation; somehow as long as they remained in place I felt there was hope for us, and wasn't I proved right? Actually, the windscreen wasn't big enough to get on what I really wanted: No, I Don't Want To Buy A Fucking Big Issue You Romanian Bastard.
    Reluctantly I must concede that there were also several snippets of evidence available to the police which, if presented in a certain light, might possibly have strengthened their case against me and led to a substantial amount of prison time — if they'd had the opportunity to present them. They did have fifteen positive witness identifications plus a video tape from a security camera in which I was plainly visible behind the wheel of the car. If I had been content with merely knocking him down I might have gotten away with it, because my face on that part of the tape was mostly in shadow, but my decision to reverse back over him meant that I was caught clearly from a different angle.
    Don't misunderstand me. I am not a violent man. I was merely in love. I did not deliberately reverse over Tony twice. I reversed over him once by accident. I then drove forward, allowing him plenty of time to crawl out of the way. Aware that I had struck something, I then reversed back again to see what it was, totally unaware that Tony had shown the rank stupidity of the ginger-haired by agonisingly dragging himself forward, only to be inadvertently struck again. The other hugely positive thing to come out of this unfortunate accident, besides allowing Patricia and me to get back together, was the fact that it revealed a blind spot in the car's mirrors, which I was able to quickly communicate to its manufacturers. I probably saved thousands of lives that day, instead of merely endangering one.
    'Dan?'
    'Mmmm?'
    'You're wandering again.'
    I cleared my throat and looked Dr Boyle in the eye. 'Sorry.'
    'Last time we spoke you'd been offered the largest advance of your publishing career.'
    'The only advance of my publishing career. The only one worthy of being called an advance.'
    'But you rejected it.'
    'You know why.'
    'You don't think it might have been a cathartic process, Dan? The fact is that you still find it impossible to unburden yourself to me — whereas a book about your son might enable you to do that in a medium to which you're obviously much better suited. The written word.'
    'They want me to cash in on my son's death by writing about it. They want pornography for necrophiliac paedophiles. It's not for me.'
    'Well, how is it going to get out then?'
    'How is what going to get out?'
    'Your hatred and guilt.'
    'I don't have any hatred or guilt.'
    He fixed me with a look. 'Dan. A blind man in a coal bunker can see the hatred and guilt.'
    I glanced at my watch.
    He said, blankly, 'Thirty-three minutes, Dan.'
    'And three more sessions. Then I'll be done.'
    'Unless you volunteer for more.'
    I smiled.
    He smiled.
    'And I'm going to have to miss our next appointment.'
    His smile faded.' The court made it a condition—'
    'I'm going to be on holiday. I didn't think it would be a problem.'
    He lifted a pen and tapped it against his teeth. I had already told him about the IVF and the surrogacy. He didn't think either was a good idea. He seemed to think we could do without the stress.
    'Well,'