Dropping Gloves by Catherine Gayle Read Free Book Online Page B

hurt. It made me want to punch my pillow as much as it made me cry into it.
    But he’d also said he loved me.
    Maybe he hadn’t realized he’d said it, maybe he hadn’t intended to let me know how he really felt about me, but I had definitely heard it come out of his mouth. It wasn’t me imagining things. It wasn’t me wishing for something so hard until I convinced myself that it was real. Not when I still love you as much as I ever did . Those were his exact words. They might as well have been branded on my brain because I doubted I would ever stop hearing them filter through my mind.
    He loved me.
    He loved me, but it hurt him when I kept leaving. Totally understandable. Completely made sense. I mean, hell, it hurt me every time I left, and it wasn’t just because I was leaving my family. It was because I was leaving him, too.
    I’d dated a few guys over the last few years, and every single one of them had been a mistake. Derek had pushed me into it, and I’d told myself that if I couldn’t be with Jamie, I could still be with someone , and maybe I’d come to love one of them as much as I loved him. Or even more than I loved him. I suppose that was what I’d been hoping for, but what had really happened was so far from my ideal that it was laughable.
    But Jamie loved me. And I loved him. And I was pretty sure I’d fucked up any chance I might have once had of being with him. Now I had to figure out what I was going to do about it. It was only fair for me to give him what he’d asked for, to stop trying to be his friend when it so clearly caused him pain every time I left.
    But what if I didn’t leave again?
    The idea was crazy. I mean, singing and acting were the things my life was supposed to be about. I’d been studying vocal technique since I was a child. I’d taken acting lessons starting in my early teens. My parents had put me in a private high school that was known for the performing arts. I’d gone to Hollywood, gotten the representation of the best entertainment agent out there, landed my dream job, and started what should have been a long and lucrative career.
    Should have been.
    Probably would have been, if not for the fact that I’d already screwed myself over on that front after yesterday’s conversation with Derek. I honestly wasn’t sure what I was going to do now, but I didn’t have to leave. I could stay here. With Jamie. I could do whatever it took to make this work, if he would give me one more chance. I could figure out a new direction for my life and be sure it included him.
    Yes, it would mean leaving behind all that I’d thought I wanted. I’d been learning that sometimes life had a funny way of showing you that what you’d once thought you wanted and what you really wanted didn’t always line up. In fact, sometimes they were complete opposites.
    I didn’t yet have a plan as to what I would do from here, but there was no point wallowing in my bedroom anymore. I was on my way to join the rest of my family when there was a soft knock on the door and Dani’s voice saying, “Katie? Can I come in?”
    I opened the door, pasting a smile on my face even though I knew she wouldn’t buy it. Sure enough, she furrowed her brow in concern.
    There wasn’t any reason to let her worry about me, especially since we had less than twenty-four hours left before she’d have to drive back to Seattle, so I drew her in for a hug. “I’m okay.”
    “Promise?”
    “Promise.”
    “Well, you’d better put some makeup on to hide your crying if you want Dad to believe you.” She stepped back and shut the door, then headed into my bathroom. When she returned, it was with a tube of concealer in her hand. “Let me help.”
    I sat on the edge of the bed and allowed her to perform her magic tricks on me.
    “Close your eyes,” she said.
    I did as she ordered, and she smeared some of it on the sensitive skin all around my eyes. “Would you think I was crazy if I said I was going to stay in