not seeing anyone else? What’s going on with you two?”
“ Going on ? Nothing.”
Candy’s eyebrows rose. “Really?”
“Oh, come on, Candy. What would a guy like Tim want with me, anyway?”
Candy laughed and then stopped abruptly when she caught Jane’s expression. “Are you kidding me?”
Jane shrugged.
“Look, Jane…Something is very wrong if you can’t see what you have to offer. You’re hilarious, smart, warm, kind—employed.”
“Employed always earns points in your eyes, so I hate to break it to you—I’m not working.”
Candy waved the words away with a freshly French-manicured hand. “You’ll be back to work eventually, and that’s so not the point. Even if you never worked for money another day in your life, you are wonderful. You have a great heart. Any guy would be nuts not to want you.”
Jane shook her head.
Candy lowered her voice. “I’m serious, Jane. Talk to someone. You don’t seem like yourself.”
“Or maybe—maybe this petulant, whiny wimp is me and the other Jane is the impostor.”
Candy studied the white-tipped nails on her right hand, and then gave Jane a hard look. “No, that’s not it, not it at all. But maybe you sincerely like this guy. Maybe that’s the problem.”
“ What? No.”
Candy narrowed her eyes. “You’ve said it before. I never date and you always date, but really it’s just the same thing: fear of real commitment.”
“I seriously regret that whole conversation.”
Candy laughed. “No doubt. Anyway, I don’t know this Tim guy from a hole in the head, but if you do care for him and that scares you, well…all I can do is suggest you pray about it, try to work through it, and try not to hide.”
“Look, I know I’m being a bag, Candy. I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”
“You’re fine.” Candy leaned over and gave Jane a light hug. “I’m going to holler for the kids. Are you eating with us?”
Jane shook her head. “No, I’m going to bed.”
Candy looked sad but didn’t say anything.
****
Jane tried one position, then another, and still another—to no avail. She couldn’t get comfortable or drop off to sleep no matter what she did. Candy’s comments, combined with Jane’s own earlier concerns about Sarah—and how they actually applied to herself, too—churned through her head. Was she just being a coward? Was she guilty of thinking she had to be someone else to be worthy of love? No. “Love” was going too far. But she could at least be friends with Tim, right? He was a really sweet person. It was rude to not call him back.
She lay on her back and picked up the phone.
He answered on the first ring. “Jane.”
Just hearing his voice made her smile and feel all was a little brighter in the world. “Hey, Tim.”
8
Hard to believe late spring had already arrived.
How long had he known Miss Jane-amazing-Bryant? Miss Jane-beautiful-Bryant? Miss Jane-crazy-silly-funny-sweet-hyper— Wow. You’re embarrassing your own self, man. Calm down, will you?
But he couldn’t stop grinning. He pulled a pair of drumsticks from his glove box and patted a soft rhythm on his thigh as he walked around the back.
The old building was spared from demolition for another year only because there still wasn’t any other home for the soup kitchen. The door from the alley into the kitchen of the facility was already blocked open and a smell Tim called “orange”—a warm, sun-setting shade in his mind’s eye—wafted out temptingly. Curry carrot soup. It had been Jane’s idea and was now a crowd favorite. Delicious and super nutritious. Comforting, but a little bit spicy and surprising .
Jane, Jane, Jane!
“A food processor did most of the work, and it’s Candy’s recipe,” she’d said dismissively when he and Aida, the woman who did the bulk of the cooking, thanked her for coming up with some new, inexpensive but healthy options, and for bringing the first big vat of the soup for them to try