Dying For A Chance

Dying For A Chance by Amy H. Allworden Read Free Book Online Page A

Book: Dying For A Chance by Amy H. Allworden Read Free Book Online
Authors: Amy H. Allworden
“There is a high probability this will completely severe the spinal cord, but when that happens we will tuck the nerve from your rib into place and there is a chance it will grow to replace some of the function of the spinal cord. You would never regain all the same function but you may be able to feel and posses some rudimentary movement. ” I had nodded my head at each of his points, trying to think of some other option.
                “Do I have any other options?”
                “I am sorry Samantha” his kind eyes looked at me and I felt their genuine pity. “If we let you go home today, with a crutch for your leg it would only be a small matter of time before the fragment moved on its own and you could lose all control. It would be very dangerous.”
                I nodded once to tell him I understood. Dr. Gannushkin stood patiently to the side, taking notes and tapping her clipboard. Apparently I was still interesting even when I wasn't saying anything. I desperately tried to think of any other possibility but couldn't come up with a single better option.
                “Alright, let's do it” the Dr. gave me an encouraging smile and went on to explain everything I could expect before and after the surgery. There would be plenty of therapy that I should brace myself for even if the procedure went perfectly. I kept nodding like I was ready for it all. Who was I kidding? I wasn't the kind of person who could take that kind of commitment. The last time I had joined a gym I went strong for a solid 2 weeks before quitting and then I avoided the calls they made trying to get me to come back in. I eventually told them some personal tragedy story about losing my house in a fire so they would stop calling. Again, not a moment I'm proud of.
                When they finally left I found myself alone in the hospital room and secretly hoped that Nic would materialize out of the fading light of the sunset. It occurred to me that he never said where he was going. He had never told me anything about what it was like for him and where he went was he wasn't with me. I suddenly grew cold with fear. What if he never came back? What if he crossed over, passed on or stepped through the light and I never saw him again? The idea stuck with me and for the rest of that night I felt horrible.
                After I had made the decision about the surgery Dr. Gannushkin started coming into my room several times a day. She would sit on a stiff chair and ask a variety of questions about my family, my childhood and general state of being. 'What makes you happy? Tell me about a time when you were afraid, excited, embarrassed...' the usual. I couldn't understand why she kept visiting me, once Nic left I didn't have any more embarrassing outbursts so she should have thought I was completely sane. I didn't have much opportunity to think about her though as the surgery came up quicker than I had hoped.
                Once I had made the decision to have the surgery everything went very fast. A surgeon was hired to do the work, he was a specialist. I didn't have the kind of money to hire him but because this was a rare kind of thing the surgeon had decided to do it pro bono. It was partly as a good service and partly because it would enhance his portfolio. Either way, I was just happy that I wouldn't owe so much money.
                During the week of prep for surgery Dr. Swaresh came into my room often. Sometimes he even brought his lunch and we would talk. I felt like he was genuinely interested in me and I couldn't deny that he was a fascinating person to be interested by. We talked about complex, thought provoking things and I felt smarter around him. He told me about his background, how he'd been hired to the Tulsa hospital from his home town in India. It was a small city that was so different from here. He'd been in the States for a few years and was still

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