Dying to Forget by Trish Marie Dawson Read Free Book Online Page A

sit down,” Mallory says, using her hand to gesture at one of the vacant chairs. I notice that her hand is shaking slightly and this makes me just a little bit happy.
    “Should I be upset with you?” I’m not sure why I ask the question and it seems to surprise Mallory.
    “Well, I guess that feeling could be mutual.” She smiles at me, a knowing look in her eyes.
    “You think I let you down?” I ask incredulously.
    Mallory sighs and shifts in her chair. I’m trying not to stare at her features, but her large, blue eyes, full and perfectly rosy lips and long blonde hair is a bit distracting. She’s the Station’s version of a living Barbie doll.
    “I do feel as if I let you down. I hope you know that,” she says it quietly.
    “When did you become my Volunteer?” I ask.
    “Just shortly after…Ryan.” She brings her gaze up from the table and looks directly at me.
    I inhale sharply. “Ryan? You know about that?”
    “Of course, Piper. I was in your head for several months. I know pretty much everything.”
    My mouth falls open and I’m sure my jaw has hit the floor. When I register the fact that my tongue is still attached and working, I swallow…hard.
    “I don’t like the idea of someone being in my head,” I say a bit harshly and Mallory flinches.
    “But Piper - that is what you’ve just volunteered to do.”
    Oh. Crap. She’s right. I hate that she’s right.
    I glare down at my hands, which I’ve been twisting in my lap. It was a habit my Dad hated. I take a deep breath and set my hands calmly on the table top. I let the coolness of the blue-tinted glass run through my skin and imagine it cooling the rising heat of my face.
    “Then you know… everything ?” I look up at her cautiously.
    “Yes. Everything. I know you better than Niles does. And Niles knows a lot.” She smiles and I’m sure she’s a bit embarrassed.
    “This is so weird,” I mumble to myself.
    “I wanted you to know that I tried very hard for you Piper. I really wish things had…ended…differently for you.” I glare at her but I notice when I do that her eyes are beginning to water.
    No way. She’s going to cry? For me?
    At once I feel like a jerk for making her feel bad. I know after my first training session that Volunteers have no actual control over their assignments. This wasn’t Mallory’s fault, it was mine. Only mine.
    “I don’t… remember you,” I admit quietly.
    “Well, you wouldn’t. From your perspective I was just the nagging voice inside your head. But you are a very stubborn woman, Piper. It was hard for you to hear me.” She laughs then, which makes me smile. Because she’s right…I’m very stubborn. Always have been, probably always will be.
    Her face darkens a bit and somehow I know what she’s going to say. “I’m so sorry about Bree. I really liked her.”
    Now it’s my turn to cry. I blink rapidly, hoping that keeps the tears from spilling out onto my cheeks, but one manages to escape. Its salty trail trickles over my lips before I have a chance to wipe it away. I can’t speak, so I just nod my head. Mallory gets up slowly from her chair and walks around the table, sitting down carefully into the seat next to me.
    “Listen, Piper. You’ve been through a lot. More than any eighteen year old should have to. I know more than anyone what it feels like to be in your situation. Remember, we were matched for a reason? We can’t go back and change the past, but we can make a difference with the future for others.”
    Her words are like a soft blanket draped around my shoulders and I look up at her with a small smile. She’s right of course…again. I can’t go back and change the past, even though I know I would do it differently if I could. To think how selfish my decision was brings me nearly to tears again. I can't go back and fix my life. But I can make someone else’s life better. I could even save someone from themself.
    “How long have you been here?” I ask her.
    She laughs