Earth and Ashes by Atiq Rahimi Read Free Book Online Page A

have nothing else to share with each other. Not a word, not a tear, not a sigh.

    You pick up the bundle resting on your knees. You no longer want to give it to Murad. The apple-blossom scarf smells of your wife. You stand and say to the foreman, “I am going. Please tell Murad that his father came, that he’s alive, that Yassin, his son, is alive. With your permission …”
    Good-bye, Murad. Head bowed, you walk out of the room. The air has grown thicker, heavier, and darker. You glance at the hilltop. It seems bigger and blacker … The men coming down the hillside have faces that are even more tired and even more black. You don’t want to look at these faces, the way you did when you first arrived at the mine. What if Murad were among them?
    You head toward the gate of the mine. You have only taken a few steps when a shout stops you:
    “Father!”
    The voice is unfamiliar, thank God. You recognize the foreman’s servant hurrying stealthily to your side.
    “Father! What I say stays between us. They told Murad that it was the mujahideen and the rebels who killed his family … in retaliation for his working hereat the mine. They terrified him. Murad doesn’t know you’re alive.”
    You are now even more hopeless and forlorn. You glance back at the foreman’s building and grab the servant by the arm.
    “Take me to my child!”
    “It’s not possible, father! Your son is working at the bottom of the mine. If the foreman knew, he’d kill me. Go, father! I’ll tell him that you came.”
    The servant wants you to release him. Confused, you place your bundle on the ground. You explore your pockets. You take out your box of naswar, hand it to the servant and request that he give it to Murad. He grabs the box and rushes away.
    Murad will recognize your box of naswar. After all, he gave it to you himself, the first time he was paid. As soon as he sees the box, he’ll know you’re alive. If he comes after you, you’ll know Murad is your Murad. If he doesn’t, you will have no Murad anymore. Go, get Yassin and return to the village. Wait there a few days.

    You quicken your step toward the exit of the mine. You reach the gate. Without waiting for Shahmard, you walk toward the hills. A sob constricts your throat. You close your eyes and weep quietly within. Dastaguir, be strong! A man doesn’t weep. Why not?! Let your heart’s sorrow overflow!
    You wind around the side of the first hill. You want naswar. You have none. Maybe the box of naswar is already in Murad’s hands.
    You slow your pace. You stop. You bend down. You take a pinch of gray earth between your fingertips and place it under your tongue. Then you continue on … Your hands are clasped behind your back, holding tightly the bundle you tied from the apple-blossom scarf.

 
    The author and publisher would like to thank Sabrina Nouri for her editorial advice
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    TRANSLATED FROM DARI BY
SARAH MAGUIRE AND YAMA YARI

I can feel hands stroking my head. They are warm and tender. They are nervous; they tremble.
    “Mother, is that you?”
    A lock of my mother’s hair caresses my face. So soft and gentle.
    “Brother, are you awake?”
    That’s not my mother. Who is it?
    Despite all the pain, I force my eyes open. I can’t tell whether the blackness I see is her hair or the night. I move my head a fraction. Beneath the dark hair is a woman I do not know. To one side of her, I can make out the face of a child, who says, “Father!”
    His hand is stroking my hair.
    “Father! You woke up! You came back! Get up!”
    Are these the same voices I heard before, the same faces? No, I’m still asleep. I’d better close my eyes again. I close them.

    “Stop!”
    I stopped. No, I didn’t just stop, I froze to the spot. I froze at the sight of a soldier aiming his Kalashnikov right at my head. The soldier was standing in front of a jeep. Its headlights shone straight in my eyes. I put up my hand to stop myself being blinded.
    “Stop! Hands behind your