me.
“That’s his doing. I’m done. I’m calling my accountant and cutting the money off. I won’t support this behavior.”
“You need to step back and think about this.”
“No, I don’t,” I said, the energy draining from my body as I leaned against the wall. “I won’t give him another dime. If I do, the next time this happens it’ll be on my hands. Tell him I’ll pay for rehab, and it’ll be a check from me to the rehab place. That’s all he’s ever getting from me again.”
Lindy laughed bitterly. “Nice of you to leave me to tell him that.”
“You don’t have to. My accountant can leave him a voicemail.”
“Luke, he’s our father.”
“Yeah, and a fucked up one at that. I’m just money to him. Money to get wasted and entertain women with. Fuck that.”
Lindy sighed. I felt bad for her; she didn’t have the emotional strength to see what she needed to see.
“Look, do yourself a favor and get the hell out of there,” I said. “You don’t need to fix this for him. You can’t. And you’re gonna lose my respect if you try.”
“But—” Her voice broke again. “He could go to jail.”
“I hope he does. He didn’t have to drive drunk, he chose to. He needs to dry out and think about all the damage he’s done.”
“Luke?” The sound of Dell’s voice calling my name from outside the weight room brought me back to where I was.
“Lindy, I have to go. Listen, go home and rest, okay?”
“I don’t know. I might.”
A thought occurred to me, though I hated to bring it up. “If I find out you borrowed against your apartment to get him an attorney, I’ll never do anything for you again.”
Dell walked in as I was speaking, and she gave me an apologetic cringe and turned to go. I held a hand up to stop her.
“Thanks, Luke,” Lindy said sarcastically, hanging up. I exhaled deeply and met Dell’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Tanner couldn’t find you, and your suit was still hanging there … I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
I nodded.
“You don’t look okay,” she said. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Can you come in and close the door?”
She pushed the steel door closed and leaned against it.
“My dad’s a drunk who caused an accident tonight,” I said, sinking down to sit on a weight bench. “I was talking to my sister.”
Silence hung in the air as she walked over and sat down next to me.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now.”
I shook my head with disgust. “He ruins lives. That’s all he’s good at. He ruined my mom and she never recovered.”
Dell laid a hand on top of the one I had resting on my thigh. The silent gesture of encouragement made me want to tell her more.
“He cheated on her,” I said, staring at the rows of weights lined up against the wall. “And she wouldn’t leave him. She looked the other way, but she knew. Then she got sick and he was too busy running around to be with her.”
I’d never talked about this with anyone but Lindy, and our conversations always grew into arguments when she defended Dad’s behavior. Dell wasn’t offering an opinion; she just listened, which was nice.
“And he ruined me. He was a hockey player, too, but he washed out of the pros fast. So he made me into the player he never was. I missed out on a lot growing up because hockey always came first. I’m not bitching or anything – hockey’s been good to me. But when I got hurt, I looked around and saw nothing . Without hockey, I’ve got nothing .”
She squeezed my hand and I held tight to hers, running my thumb over her knuckles. This was the only contact we’d ever had that wasn’t work-related. She was touching me right now because she wanted to, not because she had to.
“That’s not true,” she said. “You’re more than just a hockey player.”
“I’m really not, Dell. I let my dad lead me down this path, so I’ve got no one but myself