Elliot and the Last Underworld War by Jennifer A. Nielsen Read Free Book Online

very important to have a strong defense, or the other team will score points and win the game. But it’s even more important to have a good offense, or plan of attack. Because if you don’t, you’ll never earn any points for your team. A defense only stops you from losing. To win, you have to attack.
    And Elliot understood this. His family had played an exciting game of Limburger soccer only one week before. His twin brothers had won the game, in part because they didn’t mind bad smells. And also because they cheated.
    The rest of the mythical creatures didn’t understand the reasons for attacking Kovol quite as well as Elliot did. (Limburger cheese is very hard to find in the Underworld—and that’s a good thing.)
    When Elliot announced his plan to the group, everyone got very quiet. The Troll in the back did jump up and say “Yay!” but Elliot soon realized it was because he had finally found what he’d been reaching for in his nose, not because he liked the idea of attacking Kovol.
    “Why would we go to Demon Territory?” a Fairy asked. “That’s Kovol’s land.”
    “Exactly,” Elliot said. “If we fight him in our own lands, then he will destroy them. But if we can beat him in Demon Territory, then we’ll win this war.”
    “If Kovol catches us in his territory, he can make us his prisoner,” an Elf said.
    “I doubt that, because he’s not a king,” Elliot said. “And besides, he won’t know we’re there until we’re already winning.”
    The moans continued, but Elliot said, “Everyone go home and gather the rest of your kind. Come as soon as you can to Demon Territory.”
    There were a handful of grumbles, at least twenty-two growls, and one rather high-pitched whine. But they had chosen Elliot to lead this war and intended to obey him. One by one the various groups poofed themselves away.
    Except for the Elves. They waited until everyone had left before one came forward. He was a tall and handsome Elf with long white hair that fell like silk down his back.
    “I am Slimmy Tojam,” he said.
    Elliot blinked. Had that elf just said he had slimy toe jam? If a Dwarf or a Troll or a Goblin had said that, then he could understand. But he wouldn’t have thought any type of slime would be a problem for an Elf.
    “You’re slimy?” Elliot asked.
    “It’s Slimmy. Like Timmy or Jimmy. And it’s my name, not a description of my feet.”
    “Toe Jam?”
    The elf looked annoyed. “Tojam. Not ‘jam,’ like one spreads on toast, but ‘jum,’ that rhymes with ‘come.’”
    The fact that his name sounded like foot fungus made Elliot giggle. However, Mr. Tojam was a very serious-looking Elf and didn’t seem to think his name was nearly as funny as Elliot did. So Elliot apologized. He hadn’t meant to be rude. It’s what he really thought the Elf had said.
    “I am a teacher among the Elves,” Mr. Tojam said.
    Elliot wondered what the kids at his school would say if someone named Slimy Toe Jam started teaching there. They once had a teacher whose name was Mrs. Popzitt. She left after only three weeks to teach on an island where the natives all spoke in sign language, and she hadn’t been seen since. Nobody blamed her for leaving.
    “You’ve been thinking about my name for a long time,” Mr. Tojam said. “Can we move on?”
    “Oh, yeah, sure.”
    Mr. Tojam held up a book for Elliot to see. It looked very old and dusty, and the pages were wrinkled. “Now, what do you know about Kovol?”
    Elliot shrugged. “I know he’s the most evil Demon of all time. I know that a thousand years ago, in the first Underworld War, a wizard named Minthred cast a spell that put Kovol to sleep.” Elliot also knew from having once been very close to Kovol’s wide-open mouth that he had really bad breath. Or maybe that was only Kovol’s morning breath. Probably not worth mentioning.
    “The Elves believe the only way to defeat Kovol now is to understand how he was defeated the first time.” Mr. Tojam held