Emma Chase by Jen Khan Read Free Book Online

lost my resolve.
    I let him follow me in.
    I stopped in the middle of the living room.  I was such a coward that I couldn’t even look at him.
    He put his hands on my shoulders and kissed the skin just below my ear. “Baby, what’s wrong?”  There was clearly concern in his voice.
    I took another deep breath, dropping my head. “I can’t do this to you anymore.”
    He spun me around to him.  I inspect his feet.
    “What are you talking about?”
    “This.” I pointed my finger and waved it between the two of us. “I can’t do this anymore.”
     
    “You can’t do this anymore?” he whispered.
    I shook my head, still not lifting it up.
    “Look at me, Em.”
    I kept my head down.
    He put a finger under my chin and lifted it forcing my attention on him. “What is this all about?” 
    Oh God.  His eyes were so tormented as he scanned mine. 
    I pulled in a breath and decided right in that moment that I was doing this for him, so I pushed forward.
    “I am ending this now,” I replied matter-of-factly.
    “You’re ending this now?  I don’t understand.”
    Tears were pooling in my eyes.  I wanted to tell him everything, but I knew I couldn’t.  He would want to stand by me, fix it like he had everything else in my life.  I could feel my resolve faltering again.  I had to do this.
    “There is so much that you don’t understand , Braden.  So much that will inevitably tear us apart anyway.  We might as well end it now.  I’m poison.”
    His hands on my shoulders tightened.
    “Look.  You’re a great guy.  You will find someone who deserves all that you are willing to give her.”
    “Are you fucking serious right now?” Braden boomed at me, his warm face morphing to stone, his jaw twitching. “I come over here expecting to see my girl and you are acting as if I don’t mean shit to you.”
     
    “Braden, we aren’t working.  I have put a lot of thought into this and I think that, before this gets even more serious, we need to end it.”
    “Goddamn it, Em!  How can you stand before me spewing this shit and acting as if we haven’t been together for the past year and a half?  Jesus!  Don’t you know what you mean to me?”
    “I know what I mean to you!  That is why I have to walk away,” I spat. “I am a broken, twisted person.  You deserve so much better!”  I was yelling at him now, trying to get him to listen to me, trying to get him to see that I wasn’t the woman he thought I was.
    “Everything I do is for you , woman.  I am planning a life for us.  Shit!  I have paid your father off countless times to keep him off your back.  Does that not mean anything to you?”
    And there it was.  If he didn’t walk away now, he would resent me more for it later.
    “Exactly.  Don’t you see?” I whispered.
    “See what?”
    I threw my arms up and out.  “That I am no good for you!  This is too much!  You don’t need this in your life, Braden!”
    “I knew what I was getting myself into with you, Em.  I’d do it all over again—for you!”
    Damn him.  Clean break.  It had to be this way.  This was the only way to keep him, his sister, and his family safe. 
    I shook my head, looked up at the ceiling, and took in a breath.
    “I’m done having this conversation with you.  It’s over.  I’m going to need you to leave.  Now.”
    I willed my feet to move to the kitchen before he saw me crying.  There was a loud thud behind me.  When I spun around, he was on his knees.
    His eyes were full of anguish. 
    “Please don’t do this. I love you more than anything.  Whatever is going on , we can work it out.  I will do whatever you need me to, be whoever you want me to be.  Have I not done a good enough job proving this to you?  I'll try harder.  Just please…please don’t leave me.”
    The tears began to roll down my face.  “I can’t,” I said through a shuddering breath.  “I can’t”
    I walked towards the front door when he takes me by the waist,