left our island paradise, I would be Drew’s wife in every sense of the word.
Chapter Four
Though he had made it clear he expected us to consummate our marriage prior to leaving the island, Drew’s behavior didn’t change much over the next few days. He was attentive without being pushy, apparently committed to the idea that I would be the one to take the next step in our relationship. He didn’t bring up his peculiar blackmail again, possibly because he knew that I couldn’t stop thinking about it anyway.
Instead we would board Paradise Lost and sail to nearby islands, experiencing local culture and a more populated night life, complete with dinner and dancing. His arms would close around me possessively as he swung me in slow circles under a brilliant cascade of stars. He would hold me close, his breath against my face, as his hands molded me to his body, reminding me of that familiar terrain I had once explored with such sensual abandon. He planted kisses that lingered longer and longer, and every time he pulled away I saw the question in his eyes.
Truthfully it was more of a dare. We were playing a very lascivious game of chicken, to see who would buckle first.
Yet every night he would lay me onto the bed, brand me with his kiss and then leave me with my thoughts as he escaped to his office to work… and to drink.
And every time my mind would warp from these confusing mixed messages, I would remind myself that this was the program for which I signed up. I was the one who put the engagement ring back on my finger, knowing that was the best for my unborn child and for Jonathan.
I did so knowing full well that my heart belonged to another. And, by most rules of morality and decency, that meant my body as well.
Yet none of this sanctimony had stopped me from sleeping with Drew on Thanksgiving, when I was seriously considering a life with Alex. Even if I never slept with Drew again, it wouldn’t change anything.
Was Drew right? Was I the one playing games?
And what was I holding out for? There was no way I could go back to Alex now. I had royally screwed everything up, and it was all completely and totally my fault. Was I really going to spend the next eight months and beyond, further punishing Max and Jonathan… and even Drew and Alex?
I couldn’t give Alex the love he wanted from me, but maybe… if I could find a way to soften Drew’s rough edges, I could return his hero to him after all these years apart.
Maybe if I taught Drew more about compromise, we could explore that unfamiliar gray area between him and his estranged brother. Then, maybe, I really could reunite this troubled, broken family at last.
As each day passed, I realized it might be the only way to make up for my betrayal.
Saturday morning I awoke to the sound of him splashing around in the water mere yards away from where I slept. After a few crackers to steady my stomach, I joined him on the beach for a little sun. He grinned at me from the surf as I curled up in a hammock with a book.
“The water is fabulous,” he said. “You should join me.”
Though I had made considerable strides tackling my water phobia in California, the thought of jumping into the ocean was far more daunting. I made slight face as I shook my head. “I don’t have my suit.”
He rose out of the crystal clear water, his ripped, naked body glistening under the morning sun. “Private beach,” he stated unnecessarily as he walked over to the hammock. “No need for modesty.”
I stared up at him as he reached me, towering over me with those same demanding blue eyes that had entrapped me from the beginning. “Drew, please. I’m not ready.”
“You say that a lot,” he commented as he pulled me from the hammock. “But you’re more ready than you might think.”
“Drew…”
“Trust me,” he said quietly. “Trust me like you trusted him.”
Before I could protest, he took the spaghetti strap of my top and slid it down my arm. I shivered in