did not feel.
6
Wayne met up with Jordan and talked outside of the hotel. Phone calls were made while Jamie waited in one of the limos. The camera crew milled around the front. Jordan had explained to her that she couldn’t be seen in public covered in blood, and neither could he.
Now she was officially dragged into one of his journalism adventures. She was nothing more than a sidepiece, a beautiful trophy girl whose relationship with the Pulitzer-Prize winner had caused a week of abuse from internet news sites and social media. He was an older man. Why wasn’t she dating another athlete? Or a movie star. Or a politician. She was just using him, or he was using her. It was a publicity stunt, not a real relationship.
She was a walking time bomb. When would she lose a fight? When would she dump Jordan Vance? When would she get pregnant? When was she going to get married? When would she pose for Playboy? When would she have a sex tape?
All inevitabilities that kept her fists clenched at night. All inevitabilities that came with the territory and she didn’t have to accept a single one of them as truth.
Wayne, not Jordan, opened the limo door and brought her a fresh set of clothes and alcohol-free, fresh-scented wipes to clean the blood off her face.
“Sorry about earlier, Ms. Rock,” he said. “You doing okay? Anything I can get you?”
“Where’s Jordan?”
“On the phone. He asked me to check on you and bring you the clothes.”
“You can tell him he can go fuck himself. I’m not doing any of this bullshit. Not in the mood.”
Wayne laughed. “Yeah, I understand. I’ve been through this with him before. He’s crazy, and I think it’s rubbed off on me a bit. You know, one time we were in Afghanistan and our chopper was hit. We made an emergency landing, and it was pretty clear we were about to go into a firefight. He told me to make sure the camera was ready. It was just us. I still think about that day. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen blood.”
Too many times, she had let anger dictate some regrettable words. She hadn’t talked to her father in two years, since the day he got pissed and broke the new John Deer tractor she bought him. The press often relied on her terse replies to create silly social media memes with her pissed-off expressions.
“Give me a minute,” she told Wayne. He closed the door and she did her best to clean up. The slogan on the T-shirt Jordan passed onto her brought a smile to her face: EAT ME. The shirt plunged a little low down the neckline, but this came with the territory.
And almost pissed her off just enough to convince her to storm into the hotel without him.
“Feel better?” Wayne asked her when she stepped out of the car.
“Like brand new. Jordan done calling his mom?”
Wayne laughed. “He’s coming.”
She stood with him for an awkward moment. “This was nothing new to you? Being shot at by terrorists? They killed a man.”
“Jordan and I have done a lot together. I used to get mad at him. Call him an adrenaline junkie. I even quit once. Came right back.”
“I’ve been called an adrenaline junkie before.”
“Yeah. I don’t know. Maybe I am. Maybe Jordan is. It’s one of those things. My shrink used to say I was trying to get away. I never really understood what he meant by that. I mean, I didn’t get it ‘til later. I got two grandkids now, four and two years old.”
“Oh yeah? Boys? Girls?”
“Two girls. They’re the best thing that ever happened to me, but I can’t stop doing this. I suppose we all got a way of trying to get away from things, but we need to know what we’re trying to get away from.”
“And you figured it out?”
“For myself. Here’s Jordan.”
She had heard that line of talk before. A couple ex-boyfriends had thrown words like that at her while trying to rationalize breaking up with her; her relationships were so emotionally confusing they often became nothing