Perhaps I didn’t like French cuisine, or perhaps it was the fact that my heart had just taken up residence in the middle of my throat and it was a struggle just to get air through, let alone food. I stared over the table at my mom and her new boyfriend, Eric Lockwood, and thought I must look about as white as a piece of paper with a cold sweat as an added bonus.
How could Eric sit there, talking, joking, eating with my mother as if he hadn’t just roughly fucked my virginity away during the car ride over here? I never would have let him touch me if I had known he was dating my mom, he had pretended to be somebody else!
The seat in the booth was plush, the material of my dress was slinky-soft, but my first time had been anything but gentle and I was nursing a dull ache between my legs that made my breath catch any time I shifted positions. It was safe to say there had been no love-making… just me getting fucked.
To make matters worse, there hadn’t even been the mention of a condom. I wasn’t on any kind of birth control, why would I be? I hadn’t been anticipating even receiving my first kiss, let alone what he had unleashed on me.
So now I could practically feel those millions of sperm inside my fertile teen body, just doing what they exist to do, seeking out my eggs, wiggling around trying to get me pregnant. The heat of his seed was like drinking a cup of hot chocolate, spreading throughout my body.
I was stuck there between the devil and the deep blue sea too. I couldn’t relax my poor abused pussy, lest our combined sex-juices leak down my leg in this classy restaurant, and on the other hand, wasn’t holding it all in making it more likely that he got me pregnant? I had no idea.
It wasn’t like my panties would catch anything. Oh no, even now he had them in his pocket as he clinked his champagne glass with my mother’s. I could feel the evidence of our, no his , transgression slowly seeping out because, despite my best efforts, I couldn’t hold it all back.
My mother was holding out her glass to me and clearing her throat, apparently I had been addressed in some way. Without thinking about it, I picked up my glass and touched it to hers without a word, trying to concentrate over the booming in my ears.
“This girl doesn’t take a hint does she?” asked Eric.
I looked back to my mother, my face surely a mask of confusion. The feeling was only intensified when I tried to comprehend why she was still holding her glass out to me and doing an extremely over-the-top display of looking around nonchalantly.
Then I saw it. Since she had begun dating Eric, she had been showered with gifts. New dresses and sparkly jewellery were no longer out of the ordinary for her, so I hadn’t noticed.
Left hand, the one holding the glass, ring finger, a big fat diamond on a gold band. At that moment, anybody in the room could have been forgiven for thinking that the eighteen year old girl who had been sitting in the booth had been replaced by a simple deer in the headlights.
Hoe.
Lee.
Shit.
This couldn’t possibly be happening, surely I was dreaming. The fire between my legs was as effective as any pinch to the arm could have been though. This was real.
When I got my mom alone I would tell her, she’d call it all off, and life could go back to, if not ‘the good old days,’ then at least back to normal. Somehow, I made it through the meal.
*****
My opportunity to talk to my mother didn’t come as soon as I had hoped. For the first time in their relationship, if you could call it that, he came back to our place and stayed the night. Eric’s driver helped carry up the huge number of shopping bags from our spending spree that afternoon, putting everything in my room.
I excused myself for the evening and left them alone to watch TV and talk, my heart still beating like I was in full fight-or-flight mode. If I didn’t manage to calm down I would have a heart attack,