Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need by Stacey Mosteller Read Free Book Online Page A

perfectly. Realizing SarahBeth spends entirely too much time crying into my shirts, I finally pull back to look into her eyes. "I am sorry I ruined your night. That wasn't my intention, I just want to protect you Little Bit. You can understand that can't you?"
    Seeing the sincerity radiating from my words, SB relaxes, her tears slowing. "I know you want to protect me, Jeremy, but you can't threaten every guy I go out with so that he doesn't touch me. Eventually, I am going to be an adult. I do want to get married and have kids sometime and that will never happen if you scare away every guy with your growly face."
    My breath catches in my throat as I imagine her with some faceless man. A man who can hold her freely, kiss her, touch her, give her children. The thought of anyone but me touching her downright cripples me, but I can never let her know that. I'll always be nothing more than her big brother's oldest friend, emphasis on the old. I'll never be that guy for her, and it cuts deep. With a final hug, she disentangles herself from me to go up to her room, leaving me with the image of her and this "other man" in my head. I can't take it any longer so I head to David's office and the liquor contained there. Maybe if I drink enough, I'll stop thinking about the way she looked tonight and the way she felt in my arms.

SarahBeth
     
    J eremy's made it painfully clear how he feels about me over the past year. I don't know exactly what happened or why, but it started not long after my junior prom. I was so mad at him for the things he did that night. He actually threatened to hurt Jordan if he even touched me! How ridiculous is that? A few days later, we were supposed to go meet David for dinner but he ended up having to cancel. That night is not one I liked to remember.
    I stayed over to help with yearbook layouts so I'm almost 45 minutes late getting home. Walking into the den, I throw my backpack onto a chair before flopping down onto the couch. It's almost six and I have no idea where Jeremy and my brother are. Pulling my cell phone out of my bag, I see a text from my brother sent a few hours ago.
     
Hey. I'm not going to be able to do dinner tonight, so it'll just be you and J. That ok?
     
    Even though he sent it two hours prior, I still reply, excited that he won't be here because that will give me alone time with Jeremy. Time that I won't have to manufacture. Shamefully, I've done that more than once during the past year and a half. I told Jeremy that I wanted to plan a surprise for David after he opened Drench so that he'd take me someplace, just the two of us. Then I had to scramble to come up with an idea for the surprise. Clearly, I didn't think that one through. I also made him take me to the store to buy things that I "forgot" on purpose when I was there with my brother. And, there was the prom dress shopping. I told David that Olivia was taking me, and then told Jeremy that she had something to do so that he'd take me instead.
     
Yeah, that's fine. Will I get to see you tonight?
     
    David must have been waiting for a response from me because it's only a few minutes before he sends one back.
     
Sorry SB, one of the bartenders didn't show so I'm going to have to close tonight. We'll do something tomorrow night though. I promise.

Don't promise when you don't know if you can deliver. That's worse than canceling on me.
     
    I know I shouldn't act so upset about it, but he's always canceling on me for some reason or another. I asked Jeremy once why David came back to be with me when he's never there. Jeremy told me that he wants to be here; it's just that getting a business off the ground isn't easy. I'm not dumb. I know it takes a lot to get a business going, but he's never here with me. If it weren't for Jeremy, I'd spend half my time alone or playing third wheel to Livvie and her current flavor of the week.
    A few minutes later my phone lights up with one last text message.
     
I'm sorry SB.
     
    I sigh, I know