Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need by Stacey Mosteller Read Free Book Online Page B

he's sorry, but it doesn't make the fact that he's gone all the time any better. Ugh, enough with this one-person pity party. Just when I'm about to go looking for Jeremy I hear a door shut down the hall and his footsteps coming closer. When he walks into the room, he's looking down at his wrist as he fumbles with the buttons on a striped dress shirt. Oh. My. God. He looks absolutely delicious in a pair of black dress pants, a white dress shirt with thin silver pinstripes and a black vest. He hasn't put on a jacket yet, but the dark clothing fits his olive skin tone, dark hair and dark eyes so well. He looks like he should be on a runway instead of here in my living room.
    Jeremy doesn't acknowledge me so I take my time perusing his tall body. I'm wearing chucks, so he's a good foot taller than me as I twist around on the couch so that I can lean against the back and watch him move around the kitchen. When he still doesn't acknowledge me, I clear my throat.
    "Are you ready to go?" Jeremy startles like he really didn't see me and it sends shooting pains straight through my heart.
    He shakes his head before telling me, "Oh, I guess I forgot to tell Dave. I've got a date tonight, so I'm not going with you guys. Sorry Little Bit."
    "You're not going?" I ask in a small voice. David isn't going and now Jeremy isn't going either, which means I'm going to be alone all night. I'm trying hard to keep my voice from quivering and blinking fast to try to keep the tears from falling. The last thing I want is for him to stay home because I'm crying. Then the fact that he said he has a date registers. It feels like he just ripped my heart out of my chest.
    Jeremy shakes his head, "No, sorry, I should have said something before but I guess I just forgot." He shrugs, oblivious to my pain as he walks past me kissing the top of my head. "I'll be back in a few hours," he calls out just before closing the front door and leaving me alone with my misery as I turn back around, and stare blankly at the TV screen.
    I'm still sitting on the couch an hour and a half later with my knees curled up to my chest and my head resting on my arms stacked on top when the front door slams shut. My phone has been going off almost nonstop for the last thirty minutes but I haven't moved from my position, afraid I'll break apart if I do.
    " SarahBeth !" Jeremy shouts as he runs up the stairs. I hear doors banging open as he continues to yell my name more frantically before coming down the back stairs closer to where I'm sitting in the den. "Goddammit SarahBeth," he growls when he sees me. "Why didn't you say something? I was hollering for you." His voice is accusatory and I can feel his angry gaze on me.
    I still say nothing, prompting him to come stand in front of me. Jeremy waits for me to acknowledge him and when I don't he deflates with a sigh before sitting on the edge of the coffee table in front of me. A hand on either side of my face, he pulls my head up so I have no choice but to meet his concerned sapphire eyes.
    "You didn't tell me that David bailed on dinner, why not?" he asks, and even though his voice is soft, I know he's not so much asking a question as demanding an answer.
    "What would have been the point?" I respond quietly, not wanting him to know how much it hurt that they both abandoned me tonight. I've come to expect it from my brother, but not from him.
    Squeezing his eyes shut Jeremy says nothing at first, but the pained look on his face says much more that words ever could. He knows exactly what I didn't voice. "You should have told me," he states in a stronger voice, one that brooks no argument.
    I laugh, but it's bitter, much more bitter than any seventeen-year-old should be. "Why?" I demand, my voice rising. "Why should I have told you that my brother bailed on dinner once again? So you could spoil your date while you either fed me, or while I tagged along on your date so that you didn't have to feel guilty for leaving me by myself?"
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