Everything Sucks Short #1 Underground by R. Smith Read Free Book Online

Underground
    Everything Sucks
    Short #1
    Written by R. Smith
    Edited by Shawn M. Greenleaf
     
     
     
    Every time Hector and his friends went to the
movies, it bugged him. The ticket ripper. He knew her from
somewhere, but couldn't place her. She made the back of his brain
itch. Especially when she gave him the " do I know you? "
look.
    He knew she was a Vampire because the first
time he laid eyes on her, he knew he'd sell his left arm to a pig
farm to see her naked. With Living People--even the inarguably
stunning ones--it was more like looking at a beautiful wild animal,
or pet. ("your dog is so cute, such a shiny coat!") No, Ticket
Ripper was definitely a Vampire.
    His group of friends were all Living, so he
tried to hide how much she bothered him when they went to the
movies. They had no idea about the Vampire thing. He assumed they
knew about the Westons, most everyone in town seemed to, but he
still posed as human just in case. The thought of fleeing for his
life was thoroughly unappealing.
    Despite the centuries of passed time, his
nightmares had yet to let go of the medieval years. He looked in
his late teens at base age, and he hated the fasting required to
mimic aging. Since he rarely liked a place enough to stay more than
five or six years, he seldom needed to worry about it.
    He didn't mind the youthful look of his
base-age. He was fond of teenagers. They were never boring; always
coming up with fun and stupid ways to stay entertained. Befriending
a new group was always easy. Find the popular hangout and party pit
spots. Show up. Simple.
    "I live outside of town. Homeschooled. You
don't wanna come to my house, there's a reason I sneak out all the
time. No I don't wanna discuss it." Easy.
    The Doghouse Theater was the new big thing in
town. Blahblah old building , blahblah first theatre in
town , blahblah. Yay, history! Lately it had become the hangout
spot of choice. Catch a movie and get drunk in the alley behind the
building; or the empty lot a few blocks over, take your pick.
    Anyhow, the Ticket Ripper thing finally got
to him. He asked one of his friends about it after she pointed them
in the right direction for their movie, and sent them on their way.
He did his best to sound casual. "Hey, who's the ticket chic? Is
she local?"
    "Oh, that's Iris Bollet . . . Bollety . . .
Bollectia, something like that. Why?"
    He tried to shrug casually, like he didn't
really care, but Living People can choose the most annoying
possible moments to become perceptive.
    His buddy Bud (no, really, Bud) grinned like
a doofus. "You think she's hot."
    "Nah." He shook his head as if a fly had
landed on his face. "No. I just . . . she looks really
familiar."
    "Sure," said Bud with a smile. "She lives
with two dudes anyway, so good luck!"
    "Repeating: not into her."
    Buddy seemed not to hear him. "Even without
the two dudes she's, like, way too old!"
    Hector rolled his eyes. "Seriously, man. I am
not interested. Calm your balls."
    They passed through the double door into the
darkened room, and Buddy almost giggled. He was a big
giggler, but he always tried hard to stifle it, so it usually came
out as a high-pitched snort. "No, they should calm their
balls," he said, pointing to their friends Laura and Owen, who were
seated next to Emily and Chloe in the backmost row, furiously
making out. Emily and Chloe were chit-chatting pleasantly as if the
grope-fest wasn't even happening.
    Hector smacked Laura in the back of the head
as he plunked down in the seat next to her.
    "Hey!"
    Bud sat next to Hector. "You guys can't knock
it off for five minutes? We're in public."
    "In the back, in the dark," Laura whispered.
"That's the whole point." She flashed her sweetest Piss Off look at
them, then went back to slobbering on Owen.
    Hector leaned forward enough to see around
them. "Why did we invite them?"
    Emily shrugged. "Whatever. They just hooked
up."
    "Kinda my point."
    Owen broke free with an annoyed huff. "Don't
wreck this for me, okay Grandma?"