Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau Read Free Book Online Page B

from the 1914 war. And he
     doesn’t even answer back! When you see such things you realise that the Treaty of
     Versailles was madness. As for the lout, he threw himself on toa
     vacant seat instead of leaving it to the mother of a family. What times we live in!
    Anyway, I saw the pretentious young puppy again, two hours later, in
     front of the Cour de Rome. He was in the company of another jackanapes of the same
     kidney, who was giving him some advice about his get-up. The two of them were wandering
     aimlessly up and down, instead of going off to break the windows at the communist
     headquarters and burn a few books. Poor France!

aiku
    Summer S long neck
    plait hat toes abuse retreat
    station button friend

ree verse
    the bus
    full
    the heart
    empty
    the neck
    long
    the ribbon
    plaited
    the feet
    flat
    flat and flattened
    the place
    vacant
    and the unexpected meeting near the station with
     its thousand extinguished lights
    of that heart, of that neck, of that ribbon, of those feet,
    of that vacant place,
    and of that button.

eminine
    Lot of clots! Today round about midday (goodness it was hot, just as
     well I’d put odorono under my arms otherwise my little cretonne summer dress that
     my little dressmaker who makes things specially cheaply for me made for me would have
     had it) near the Pare Monceau (it’s nicer than the Luxembourg where I send my son,
     the idea of getting alopecia at his age) the bus came, it was full, but I made eyes at
     the conductor and got in. Naturally all the idiots who’d got numbered tickets made
     a fuss, but the bus had got going. With me in it. It couldn’t have been fuller. I
     was terribly squashed, and not one of the menwho had a seat inside
     dreamed of offering it to me. Ill-mannered lot! There was a man beside me who was quite
     smart (it’s the latest thing, a plait round a felt hat instead of a ribbon,
     I’m sure
Adam
must have written up this new fashion), unfortunately his
     neck was too long for my liking. Some of my friends claim that if one part of a
     man’s body is bigger than the average (for instance a nose that’s too big)
     it’s a sign of marked capacities in another direction. But I don’t believe a
     word of it. In any case, this gentlemanly creature seemed to have the permanent fidgets
     and I was wondering what he was waiting for and when he was going to say something to me
     or extend an exploratory hand. He must be shy, I was thinking. I wasn’t so wrong
     at that. Because all of a sudden he started to pick on another man who looked horrible
     anyway and who was purposely treading on his toes. If I’d been that young man
     I’d have punched him on the nose but instead he quickly went and sat down the
     moment he saw a vacant seat and what’s more it didn’t occur to him for a
     single moment to offer it to me. The things that happen in the country of Gallantry!
    A bit later, as I was passing the gare Saint-Lazare(this time I had a seat) I caught sight of him arguing with a friend (quite a nice
     looking boy I must say) about the cut of his coat (extraordinary idea to wear an
     overcoat on such a hot day but it does make you look correctly dressed of course). I
     looked at him but the idiot didn’t even recognise me.

allicisms *
    One zhour about meedee I pree the ohtobyusse and I vee a zhern omm with
     a daymoorzuray neck and a shappoh with a sorrt of plaited galorng. Suddenly this zhern
     omm durvya loofock and praytongs that an onnate moossyur is marshing on his pyaises.
     Then he jetéed himself on to a leebr plahss.
    Two hours tarder I saw lur angcore; he was se balarding de lorngue ang
     larzhe in front of the gare Saint-Lazare. A dahndy was donning him some cornsayes à
     propos of a button.
    * Replacing
Anglicismes

rosthesis
    Bone aday gabout mmidday, con dthe drear splatform jof va kbus, snot
     vfar ffrom Sparc Omonceau, Oi znoticed ta wyoung gman twhose gneck twas ztoo plong hand
     awho hwas sexhibiting ga shat kwith va splaited