Explorer by C. J. Cherryh Read Free Book Online Page B

with people she’ll know and I won’t—who are going to outright outnumber us. Not to mention the crew may be in a very foul mood, once the truth starts coming out. As it still may. If they start talking to remote cousins and the stray mourned-for-dead uncle, all sorts of truth is
going
to come out, this time.”
    “You’re the number two captain,” Bren reiterated. “You decide what to do. You always had the authority to go after that log record. A little more questionable extension of authority, I suppose, that you show it to me. More, to show it to the crew. But by Ramirez’s decision and Ogun’s concurring vote, you are the number two captain. So I’d think you do have that authority to break this secret wide open—if you choose. It’s your watch. Isn’t it?”
    “Clearly my watch. And the burning question still remains—what else do we do with it?”
    “When you show it to me, you clearly know you’re showing it to my security. And the dowager’s. I might have given you special privacy. You didn’t ask it.”
    “
You
keep secrets. So does the dowager.”
    “Secrets again?”
    “That’s the eternal question on this ship, isn’t it?”
    “Tell Ginny Kroger,” Bren said. “She’s tied into our information. It’s hard to keep her apart from anything.”
    “And her staff circulates on three-deck.”
    “And if they know—crew’s not far. You’re right. Everywhere we turn, there’s another question how wide to take this, and it all runs in a circle . . . once you tell one other individual, it all leads eventually to the crew.”
    “You understand my problem,” Jase said. “And telling Gin Kroger, who’s next to telling you, eventuallyleaves everyone on the ship
but
the crew knowing what’s in this tape, which has got to be another psychological statement, so far as the crew’s concerned, doesn’t it? Pride. Trust. And how
do
we admit, this late in the game, that Ramirez lied to them twice? I’m just beginning to figure out how long Ramirez lied to
me.
”
    “Secrets,” Bren said, “never, ever served
Phoenix
well. But letting them out just before making port is going to be difficult.”
    “So here we are—trying to shut Reunion Station down and keep the aliens from tracking us back to Alpha? That’s a secret, isn’t it—and one we’re not going to confess to the Guild on first meeting. Secrets are our whole existence. Maybe some of them have to be kept. Even inside. I have scraps of facts that lead under closed doors. And what do we do? Fling wide all the doors? Open just one, thinking we can limit the damage? Restrict images during docking again, and hope that crew won’t think to ask until this has all worked and they’re too happy to lynch their officers?”
    “We don’t even know for an assured fact,” Bren said, “that Sabin herself has a clue what’s on this tape.”
    “She’s got Jenrette to ask.”
    “Maybe she’s never
asked
Jenrette. Or maybe Jenrette didn’t tell her everything.”
    “She knows there’s a question. Yes, she’s seen this tape, no matter when she saw it. She knows, by now. And knowing all she knows, knowing that I’ve been after this tape, she’s kept it to herself, letting me hunt for it—and ultimately letting you and me go into a situation on arrival without the information, if I didn’t get it. I think that, and I get very angry. And then I reason,” Jase said quietly, not looking at him, “that she hasn’t failed to tell me yet. Not yet. And I keep waiting, day by day, for a briefing on what happened at Reunion—and on a dozen things I don’t even know to ask.”
    “And it doesn’t come,” Bren said. “And it hasn’t come. And we’re running out of time. And you’re mad about that. And getting madder.”
    “It’s that emotional cloud again.”
    “You’re not sure you’re thinking straight about it?”
    “I’m not sure I’m thinking straight about anything. A check on the thought processes is useful. So