Fade to Black by Alex Flinn Read Free Book Online

Now that the painkillers have worn off, I’m conscious of the pain. I have a ton of stitches, and my face probably looks cut up and scary. I still haven’t looked in the mirror. It’s a game I’m playing at this point, to see how long I can not look. But I wonder if it will heal or if I’ll have scars on top of everything. I can be like Freddy Krueger, that guy in the horror movies, with the burned-up face.
    I don’t want to look scary in front of Jennifer. I don’t know why. It’s not like girls have any interest in me. And it’s not like she’s a supermodel or anything, just an average girl with—sheesh—freckles on her nose. But I just—I don’t know—like the idea of someone to talk to. She’s the first girl I’ve met in Pinedale who’s acted normal around me.
    The first week at school, I was by my locker and this girl with long blonde hair walked by. Now I know her name was Kendall Barker, and she was way out of my league—especially now. But that day the planets aligned, and she was (I’m pretty sure I’m not flattering myself here) checking me out. I’m not bad looking. I’m tall, tall and skinny, actually, but usually I can hide that by wearing baggy clothes. I always thought I had okay eyes. They’re grayish. I started to say hi to her. Then some other girl whispers something, and Kendall looked at me like I was a leper and one of my fingers had fallen off and rolled down the hallway. That was the first sign I had that people here knew about me. The school isn’t supposed to tell the students, but they did. I guess she was afraid I’d get her sick. But you can’t get infected by talking to someone.
    I could chalk it up to her being a bitch … but they can’t all be bitches.
    “You are awake, aren’t you?” Jennifer says.
    “What? Um, yeah. I’m awake. I was pretending to sleep in case you were my mother.”
    “That’s kind of weird. I mean, your mom seems nice.”
    “She is nice. It’s just…” I wave my hand in the air like, forget it, knowing I probably majorly screwed up her opinion of me. “What are you doing here?”
    “I’m on break. Thought I’d come say hi. I could leave if you want.”
    “No!” I don’t mean to raise my voice. Maybe I have a personality disorder in addition to HIV. “No, stay. My mother… I mean, it’s frustrating. She’s upset and it’s my fault, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
    Shut up now, Alex .
    Jennifer reaches up to touch her hair. Her blonde curls are whipped into submission in a ponytail and two red barrettes that look like something for a younger girl, like Carolina.
    “I guess I could see that.” She takes out one of the barrettes and pushes the hair around. “Where is your mom now?”
    “Home checking on my sister. Carolina wasn’t answering the phone.”
    “Maybe she went to a neighbor’s house.”
    “The neighbors haven’t exactly been over with the Welcome Wagon.”
    “Sorry. That was stupid.” She replaces the barrette. “Can you believe they make us wear this dumb hairstyle, to keep the hair off our faces? We’re supposed to wear hats, too, but I pretend I lost mine. The nurses don’t wear hats anymore, so why should I? Most places, the hospital aides just wear T-shirts instead of this dumb uniform. Pinedale is so retro—and not in a good way.”
    “I think your hair looks good like that.” I think a hat might be kind of hot looking too, like nurses in those World War II movies, but I don’t say it.
    “Yeah, right.” She takes out the other barrette. A piece of hair falls in her eyes and, on second look, she’s a lot prettier than I thought. “Is Carolina your sister?”
    “Right. I thought the school gave everyone a full briefing on my life history before I came here.”
    “They didn’t … well, maybe a little. They had an assembly.”
    “I know. They aren’t supposed to tell the students. That’s the law.”
    “They didn’t tell us everything. It was mostly about dealing with