Federal Discipline by Loki Renard Read Free Book Online

life.
    “What are the odds Lee Brampton was the one responsible for all these murders?”
    “Fifty-fifty, I suppose,” Harley said. “Either he was, or he wasn't.”
    True enough, Jamie supposed. Not precisely precise, but somewhat accurate.
    “Tell me something,” he said, crunching into the cone. “What made you want to work violent cases?”
    “I'm an orphan,” Jamie said, deciding to tell him the truth. She didn't like to talk about her past much, but Harley seemed trustworthy. He also seemed like the sort of person who would keep the information to himself. “I lost both my parents to a mob hit when I was eight years old.”
    “I'm sorry.”
    “I don't remember much,” Jamie said. “But I remember the agent who worked on the case. She saved me. She saved me and she made sure that the people responsible spent the rest of their lives behind bars. I wanted to be like her when I grew up. I wanted to stop the bad guys.” Jamie nibbled at the cone and thought back to the woman with the kind brown eyes. “Whenever I missed my parents, whenever I thought about going off the rails, I thought about what I wanted to do. I thought about all the people out there doing terrible things and not getting caught. And I worked harder, and I graduated college and I got accepted by the academy and I was so excited because I knew I was going to make a difference. I was going to be one of the good guys. But right now... I don't feel like a good guy. I feel like I just hid and let someone commit suicide by cop.”
    “Sometimes what we do is black and white,” Jack said. “And sometimes everything is just black. Some days everybody loses. But there are good days too. There are days where you know that because you showed up and did your job, the world is a little bit safer. Those are the days you hold on to.”
    Jamie nodded. He was probably right. It sounded right. It didn't make her feelings go away, but it did at least put them in a context where she could feel a little bit better about them.
    “We're going to finish our ice cream,” he said. “And then we're going to go back to the office, review the files and make sure we're ready to take away everything we can from the scene report. Oh, and we're going to get you fitted with a vest that doesn't make you look like one of those ninja turtles. That sound good to you, Black?”
    “Yes sir,” Jamie agreed.
    He smiled at her. She smiled back.
     

Chapter Four
     
    Jack was impressed. He'd expected hysterics from the pale young woman with the wisp y gold hair. She didn't look tough. She looked like any other woman her age, well presented and vaguely fragile. Jack didn't consider himself a misogynist. He knew women could be tough. But the vulnerability in Jamie's eyes concerned him. She was a woman on a mission, there to fight past daemons. But there were daemons everywhere, and even if she did manage to lay one set to rest, they would still cluster around her on every side.
    It wasn't his habit to be so protective or concerned about fellow officers. Rookies needed extra attention though. They were prone to breaking at the worst possible moments. To Jamie's credit, she'd held it together pretty well during the shooting. There could still be trouble coming down the line , though. The worst reactions never happened in the heat of the moment. They happened hours, days, weeks later, when the immediate stress had dissipated and the full reality of what happened had settled in.
    The fact she'd shared her early trauma gave him mixed feelings. On the one hand, it was as good a reason as any to join the agency. On the other, it suggested possible instability. The psychometric testing would probably have picked it up if she was seriously unbalanced, but that didn't mean she didn't have a crack in her psyche, something that could be burst wide open with repeated exposure to violent acts.
    Stability. That was what she needed. Stability and order. Same as any other rookie.
    But as much as