Feel My Love by Ash Johnson Read Free Book Online Page A

he looks so confused and says “Who are you, Brynnie?  You are a totally different person than you were when you lived at home.  I don’t se e a trace of that girl anymore.”  I shrug, and then take a pull from the beer bottle and move to sit down on the couch.  “I’m not a different person.  It’s just that no one ever cared to know the real me at home.  I lived my life for other people at home, so everyone saw the agreeable, quiet, shy girl that they wanted to see instead of asking me who I really was.”
    “That’s bullshit, Brynn.”  Ryan says, slight agitation rolling off of him, which startles me a bit. “I’ve known you since third grade.  I knew things about you that no one else knew and not once did you tell me that you wanted to run marathons or sing in bars or get your degree in music.”  At first, I’m ready to defend myself, but then I get confused. 
    “Music? Who says I got a degree in music?” I ask incredulously.  Ryan shakes his head and says “No one said it.  I was just guessing.  You are awesome at singing, so I thought that was what you majored in.”  I shake my head, but smile at the compliment.  “Okay, so if you didn’t get a degree in music, what did you get your degree in?” 
    I set my beer bottle down on the wooden coffee table in front of my couch and cringe a bit.  He’d never guess what I actually majored in.  “Uh, it was chemistry with a double minor in criminal justice and art.” I smile slightly, and glance up waiting for Ryan to say something, but he has a dumbfounded look on his face like I just told him the moon was made of cheese. 
    “Chemistry?   What the fuck, Chuck!” he blurts out “You hated chemistry when we were in high school! You even needed a tutor to pass the class.  Lucky for you I was a great tutor or you never would have made it.”  He smirks.
    I laugh lightly and then say “Well, not to rain on your parade, but I was really good at chemistry.  I always wanted to work in a crime lab, like CSI stuff, and latched onto chemistry when I was really young. So I worked really hard and got my degree in chemistry and then started working in a lab right out of college, but it was a bit too tedious, so I quit.  My boss loved me so much though, that he told me a job was waiting for me whenever I wanted to go back.”
    He shakes his head and puts his beer on the coffee table so he can throw his hands around in the air for his rant. “So, all that time I spent trying to tutor you and thinking you were never going to understand it; all the time I spent worrying about your mom hating me because you were going to fail that class, was for nothing?” Ryan says, luckily he’s smiling so I know he’s joking with me. 
    “Well, uh” I don’t know how I’m going to say this without it being awkward, so I just decide to get it out. “I kind of had a major crush on you back then and wanted to spend more time with you, so I pretended I needed a tutor in a subject I was really good at so I could ogle you while you tried to teach it to me.” I grimace and look down at my hands in my lap and then smooth out the front of my dress, not daring to tell him that I still had that major crush on him.
    Ryan just starts laughing, so I smile and look up at him.  “Oh my God, Brynn! You are killing me! So, you’re telling me that you knew chemistry better than I did, and you had me tutor you so that you could check me out the whole time?” he chuckles. 
    Well that reaction is certainly better than what I was expecting.  “Yeah, I felt bad for a while.  There were a few things that you tried to explain to me that were completely wrong, but I had to play dumb, so I couldn’t correct you.  Sorry about that.” I giggle. 
    Ryan walks over to the couch and sits down next to me and we stare at each other for a few seconds, as if we’re trying to figure each other out all over again.   Ryan looks down at my hands, reaching out to rub his index