Finding My Way by Heidi McLaughlin Read Free Book Online

then what? Come home to this for breaks and holidays? No thanks.

Chapter 9
    I take the stairs to my room two at a time. I throw open my door, head for my closet and take out my guitar. This is a risk, but I’m willing to take it. I need to get out of this house and if Sterling and Bianca see me with my guitar, so be it. If I have to hide it at Mason’s from here on out, I’ll do it. Right now I need an escape and this is going to be it.
    I’m back down the stairs and into the garage undetected. I feel as if I’m doing something illegal and sadly, in the Westbury house, this qualifies. Opening the door to my truck, I hop in and place my prized possession on the seat. I’d give anything to have Josie by my side right now, but I’m not ready to show her yet. I want to be good enough by Christmas so that I can play her a melody that will mean something to her. I want to write words that will mean something to us. I’m not foolish. I’m not looking to make a career out of strumming my guitar, but it’s a good release and I hear chicks dig rockers. Even if I am a wannabe.
    My favorite clerk is working when I enter the country store. She looks up from her gossip magazine and directly at the calendar. I try not to laugh, but I know she’s looking to see if it’s Friday. I’m a few days early.
    It only takes me a minute to spot what I want. I open the glass door, reach into the cooler and grab a six-pack. I don’t know if she’s going to sell it to me with it not being my usual day, but we’re about to find out.
    “It’s not Friday,” she says, as she stands up.
    “Yeah, just think you get to see me twice this week.”
    “You alone?” she asks, her eyes pointing to the beer.
    I look out the storefront window and into the empty cab of my truck. “Yep.”
    The clerk sighs heavily. “Look kid, I know what you do on Friday nights and know you’re not the only one drinking all that beer, but tonight…” she shakes her head and I know what’s coming out of her mouth next. “Are you going to be driving?”
    “No ma’am,” I lie. “I have to pick up my buddy. He’ll be with me and my girl.” I’m shocked at how easily the lie comes.
    “All right,” she says, reluctantly as she takes the cash out of my hand. She bags the six-pack and I’m out the door and heading toward the Cliffs. No one will be there at this time of night and that’s the way I want it.
    I pull into the same spot that I was in earlier. Being here with Josie a few hours ago makes me wish I had gone to get her, but I really want to perfect this melody for her. I want to be able to play something that makes sense even if I’m the only one who understands the way music makes me feel.
    Climbing out of the truck, I have my guitar in one hand and my six-pack in the other. I turn on my pen-flashlight to light the path to the opening and get as close as I can to the edge. I can hear the river, but can’t see it. The pitch-black abyss is rumbling down below waiting to swallow whatever comes its way.
    For a brief moment I consider stepping off the side to see if I can tame the river. I’d lose, of course, but the thrill of trying might be worth it. What would Sterling think when I turn up missing only for them to find me miles down the river? His dream would be shattered and there isn’t a damn thing he could do about it. The only consequence would be that I’d hurt Josie and I can’t do that to her.
    I step away and sit down on the cold hard ground, popping the tab on one of the beers. This is going to be a night of firsts for me. I’ve never been here by myself. I’ve never drunk alone before. I’ve never drunk beer out of a can before either. I’ve never played in the dark. I’ve never played my guitar out in the open. What if the wildlife doesn’t like me? I guess there’s only one way to find out.
    I down my beer and pop the next one before picking up my guitar. With it resting on my leg I let my fingers glide over the strings. I