Finding Sadie (Los Rancheros #0.5) by Brandace Morrow Read Free Book Online Page A

excitement.  My hand jerks a little and I quickly pull the brush away. 
    “Is she here?”
    The little girl nods sadly.  “Yeah.  She can’t come out because she’s super sick.”
    Is the word super necessary?  Is that a little kid thing to exaggerate?  Or is she super sick?  I smile weakly and finish her nails.  Five girls later, I’ve finished them all.  I look around the room at frail little faces smiling and glancing at their hands, showing their friends as they whisper and take a deep breath.  What is this feeling?  I struggle with it, trying to figure out why my chest feels tight, too full, and my head is calm and relaxed.  My eyes move to the TV as the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes.
    Ugh.  Don’t be stupid.
    My eyes gravitate to the back of the crowd where Batty is talking to one of the older kids.  I tilt my head to gesture down the hall and he does a chin lift, bringing me back to the last time he did that.  Right after he fucked me then asked my name.  Yeah.  That’s not happening again.
    I quickly walk down the hall until I get to the door that I remember being Rachel’s and knock as gently as I can.  I don’t hear anything so I open it a crack to see her sleeping, the rest of the room empty.  I go to close the door again, but I notice a doll with a crown on the floor by her bed and Rachel’s hand extended through the railing toward it. 
    I tiptoe so that my heels don’t make too much noise, and take my eyes off of the little girl to get the doll.  As soon as I look down I feel a little hand on the top of my head.  It scares the shit out of me, and I look up quickly, causing her hand to slide to the ponytail that’s slipped over my shoulder.
    “Your hair’s so pretty,” she rasps weakly behind an oxygen mask.
    “What color was your hair?”  I ask, bringing her doll back onto the bed, making sure to tuck it under the blanket.
    “Purple?” she asks on a little giggle.  It makes me smile, so I pull up a chair.
    “Green?” I ask.
    “Pink!  I always wanted pink hair.  Mommy said I wasn’t old enough yet.”  Her smile dims a little bit.
    “They at church?”
    She nods.  “They spend a lot of time there.”
    I wonder if her parents are really at church.  For all I know, they’ve been telling her that and going out to eat, living their lives, while their child slowly dies.  That full feeling in my chest begins to burn.
    I reach for my purse and hold up three different colors of nail polish.  She smiles.  A dimple pops out that hasn’t been there before.  She points to the purple glitter, and I set the other two back and get to work.
    “If you could do anything in the world, what would it be, Rachel?”  I ask while I begin to paint her nails.
    “Like to go someplace?”
    I glance up at her.  “If you could do anything—go ice skating, eat a cheeseburger, ride a rollercoaster—what would it be?”
    Her eyes look away from me to stare at the wall, lost in her thoughts.  “I would have a tea party.  With little cakes and tea in a pot like on Beauty and the Beast .  But my mouth hurts, my tummy too.  So I can’t eat anything.”
    “Do you know what the best thing to eat is?” I ask, leaning forward to get close to her.  She shakes her head.
    “When I imagine something that I can’t have, like truffles from Paris or Tiramisu from Italy, I close my eyes and pretend.”  I smile, and oh so slowly get a smile back.  “Do you want to pretend with me, doll?”
    She nods with more conviction and finally has a little color in her pale cheeks.  I stand and grab my purse.  “I’ll be back.  I have to go get some stuff, but seriously, I’m hurrying.  You wait here and take a nap so we can be ladies when I get back okay?”
    Rachel covers her mouth, but I can still hear the giggles as I exit the room.  It makes me walk faster, turning a corner while I dig for my keys.  I almost go down when I collide with a cement freaking wall.  Otherwise