First Bitten by Samantha Towle Read Free Book Online

me?”
    His back stiffens. “Let’s hope you never find out.” Then he’s gone, the door gently banging in his wake.
    I roll onto my back and stare blankly up at the ceiling.
    Carrie’s gone.
    My heart compresses, squeezing tightly in on itself, the agony unbearable, and sobs break from me. I bury my face into the pillow, trying to muffle the cries coming from me.
    It’s my fault. I ended her life, both our lives, the moment I made the decision to step into those woods. It should have been me that died in there, not Carrie. I’m going to have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my existence. Because existing is all I’m doing now. What I’m left with isn’t anything resembling a life.
    And it’s nothing less than I deserve.
     
     

Chapter 6
     
    Blood Drinker
     
    “ Alex?”
    “ Hmm.”
    “ Wake up.” A strong hand gently shakes my shoulder.
    “ Go away, Eddie. I’m tired.” I roll away from his hand, stretching my stiff legs out.
    “ Alex?”
    I sigh loudly and roll back over, forcing my sleep-laden eyes open. “Eddie, for God’s sake–” My words catch in my throat because it’s not Eddie my eyes meet with, it’s Nathan. Of course it is. I’m not at home; I don’t have a home anymore. I’m not me any more, and Carrie’s gone, forever.
    The present slams back into me with all its ferocity. The relief sleep offered is no more and the loss of Carrie consumes me all over again. Tears insistently spring to my eyes.
    Nathan looks down at me curiously, his green eyes almost luminous in the dusk light. “You okay?” he asks.
    I manage a nod as I press my lips together and attempt to swallow down my grief. I’ve cried enough in front of him already. I don’t want to cry again.
    But it’s not working. My eyes are swollen with the tears, top lip quivering, chin wobbling. I hold my breath. But a stray tear trickles out from the corner of my eye, snaking its way down my cheekbone, and the feel of that one single tear breaks down all my defences and the grief engulfs me, and there’s not a single thing I can do to stop it. The pain is so intense I feel like my chest is being crushed.
    I can’t breathe.
    Clutching a hand to my chest, panicked, I sit bolt upright and crash straight into Nathan.
    “ Whoa, take it easy,” he says, taking hold of me by my shoulders, but I can’t focus on him, or anything. My whole body is shaking, tears streaming down my face.
    Carrie’s dead. How can she be dead? It just doesn’t make sense, any of it. And I miss her so much it hurts.
    “ Alex, you need to calm down.” Nathan takes a firm hold of my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to look at him.
    My eyes flicker back to the now, and when they meet with his, I’m surprised by the intensity I find there.
    “ Take slow, deep breaths,” he says. It’s not a request.
    Knowing he’s got my attention, Nathan slides his hand from my face but stays sitting where he is, which is mere inches from me, so close I can smell his aftershave.
    I know he’s only trying to help me but his nearness and fixed gaze are making me uncomfortable for reasons I can’t explain.
    I break away from our stare and look out through the window behind him. Red is commanding the sky tonight. It disappears under the remaining clouds, drifting into a soft shade of pink. What is it they say: red sky at night shepherds delight? It really is a beautiful sight. I know it is. I just can’t even begin to appreciate it. How can I ever allow myself to appreciate something when I shouldn’t be the one here to see it? There’s a blackness inside me now coating everything. I already had a gaping, hollow place where my heart should have been - my parents dying saw to that - but now Carrie’s gone, well, whatever was left went with her.
    I shut my eyes and take a deep calming breath, forcing my frantic mind and body to still. “I’m sorry,” I utter, as my breathing slows to something close to normal.
    “ Don’t be.” He