Flashback by Amanda Carpenter Read Free Book Online

a little at her headlong rush into the house. She wiped at something that trickled down her forehead and realised how profusely she was sweating. The edge, she was at the very edge. Perhaps she was wrong after all. Perhaps she was going stark raving mad. Perhaps the pressure and the utter vulnerability of her self to others was finally getting to her, as she’d always known it would. Perhaps—
    She turned shortly and stared at her mother, just now entering the living room. Something of her emotional upheaval must have shown in her face, for Denise said sharply, “Dana? Are you all right? You look absolutely dreadful.”
    She licked dry lips and said shortly, “I’m fine.” She turned on her heel and headed for the kitchen, her movements jerky and uncoordinated. She needed a drink badly. Turning on the faucet at the kitchen sink, she stuck a finger under the gushing water until the flow became suddenly cold. Then she grabbed a glass, held it under the water flow, and switched off the faucet as she tilted the glass up to her mouth, drinking greedily. She didn’t stop until the entire glassful had flowed down her parched throat and then filled it and drank again. It was so hot, hotter than any other summer she could remember. She set the glass down on the counter and slowly turned to face her mother, who had followed her into the kitchen. She could feel her mother’s sharp worry.
    Denise surveyed her for a while and then asked abruptly, “How long has it been since you’ve had a decent meal inside you? Have you eaten at all today? Look at you—you’re as thin as a stick.”
    Dana clenched her hands, and felt the sweat on her palms. “Don’t nag at me,” she gritted, between her teeth. “I’m all right. Can’t you just leave me alone?”
    A flicker of surprise on her mother’s face, and then a look of anger. “There is no call for being rude, young lady, no matter what you think the provocation. I won’t have that tone of voice from you, do you hear? Now sit down and I’ll fix you something to eat.”
    “Didn’t you just hear what I said?” Dana suddenly exploded into a shout. “I said to leave me alone, for crying out loud! I don’t want to eat—I’m all right. Just drop it, will you?” She turned away, feeling close to the end of her rope and nearly ready to break into tears. She was just so tired. She hadn’t slept well in years, it seemed, and she stumbled from sheer exhaustion.
    Even in the midst of her own emotion, she could feel her mother’s reaction, the anger, the bewilderment, and the ever present worry that worked on Dana’s own patience like water on a stone. Even her own mother thought she was going loony. “Dana, sit down! You look as if you’re going to fall any moment now. I’m going to call the doctor and get you an appointment. You don’t look well at all.”
    “Why can’t I make you understand ?” Dana’s voice rose to a scream, putting her two fists against the sides of her head as if a bell was pealing intolerably in her ears. “Oh, I can feel you loud and clear, but every time I try to communicate my thoughts and my feelings to you, you don’t even hear what I’m saying! I said to leave me alone! Get out of my head! You’re all crowding me to death!”
    She turned drunkenly as her mother stood there stunned, and she ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Rushing headlong into her bedroom, she locked the door behind her and threw herself on to her bed and spent all of her pent-up feelings in a storm of hard, racking, dry sobs. Images flashed by in her head of the terrible nightmares, the sweating fear, her own precarious control and finally, the unknown future. As she tried to look beyond that blackness, exhausted, futilely looking for some ray of hope, it overwhelmed her and sucked her right in.
    She slept.

Chapter Three
    Absolutely nothing of importance happened to Dana for the next few days. The weekend came and went, the weather darkened to rain and