Floods 7 by Colin Thompson Read Free Book Online Page B

it in the Terrible Pool of Vestor. Only that can dissolve the cage and set him free, and then I can return him to his previous form.’
    â€˜And talking of magic,’ said Barry Trubshaw, ‘what about your promise? When do I get to be tall, dark and handsome and all the other cool stuff?’
    â€˜I will make you tall,’ said Mordonna. ‘Stand up.’
    Barry Trubshaw stood up and hit his head again.
    â€˜I will make you dark and handsome,’ said Mordonna.
    Barry Trubshaw looked in the mirror and fell in love with himself.

    â€˜The charisma bit isn’t so easy,’ said Mordonna. ‘I mean, you are still called Barry and no one called Barry can ever be cool. It’s one of the basic laws of the universe.’
    â€˜No, no,’ said Barry Trubshaw, ‘I’m not Barry. I am Sanguine, the Cool One.’
    â€˜You are still Barry, though,’ said Mordonna, ‘no matter what you call yourself.’
    â€˜Couldn’t you change my name?’ said Barry.
    â€˜Oh yes, we could give you a new name,’ said Mordonna. ‘Here’s one. It’s dynamic, mysterious and a little exciting. You are now called Argon.’
    â€˜I like it,’ said Barry, now totally unable to take his eyes off his reflection in the mirror.
    â€˜Well, actually, you are called Argon Barry, which is not cool, but I’ll tell you what I can do,’ Mordonna added. ‘I’ll give you a “du”. You can be Argon duBarry.’
    â€˜Oh yeah baby, that is really cool,’ he said. ‘Good morning, I am Argon duBarry.’
    â€˜Aren’t you just,’ said Betty.
    â€˜No, no, listen. This is even better,’ said Barry.‘ Bonjour, je suis Argon duBarry.’
    â€˜The trouble is,’ Mordonna continued, ‘that, inside, you are still Barry Trubshaw. You are called Argon, but you will never truly be Argon. Still, don’t worry about it. Compared to the weirdos you’ve collected here, even being plain Barry you’re cooler than they are. It’s all relative.’
    â€˜So have I got this charisma thing now?’ said Barry Trubshaw.
    â€˜Compared to your followers you are super-sophisticated,’ said Mordonna.
    â€˜Far out,’ said Argon duBarry, not realising that his name now made him sound like a third-rate hairdresser.
    â€˜Far out indeed,’ said Mordonna.
    As the Floods packed up to leave, Argon duBarry Trubshaw Sanguine Cool One summoned his followers to the Stamping Ground.
    â€˜We will gather in half an hour,’ he said from the darkness of his yurt.
    â€˜But it doesn’t get dark for three hours, oh great master,’ said Nameless.
    â€˜I know,’ said Argon duBarry Trubshaw Sanguine Cool One. ‘The time has come for me to expose myself to you all.’
    Some of the younger Namelesses giggled.
    â€˜So much for love and peace and all that Karma stuff,’ said Mordonna as they drove off back down the track away from Nowhere. ‘Time we went somewhere.’

The Hearse Whisperer was still waiting. She had sent seventeen rats, four mice and a shrew down the magic time gate to Belgium, where 35 per cent of them were now leading new and exciting lives while 65 per cent were being scraped off tram wheels.
    Not long now , she thought, looking down into the volcano. I’d better start preparing my surprise welcome .
    And then it began to snow.

‘Where are we going?’ said Betty when they left the track from Nowhere and got back on the road.
    â€˜Well, obviously we have to go to the Terrible Pool of Vestor,’ said the Queen. ‘To remove the enchantment from my beloved Vessel.’
    â€˜F@@#XXX!!!!£,’ swore Vessel, followed by, ‘GR!!***&8¢¢KK*! Mackerel, Mackerel, Mackerel F$$**!! Organiser!!!’
    â€˜That’s enough of that,’ said Mordonna. ‘There are children present.’
    â€˜It was them I learnt the words