Flora Segunda: Being the Magickal Mishaps of a Girl of Spirit, Her Glass-Gazing Sidekick, Two Ominous Butlers (One Blue), a House with Eleven Thousand Rooms, and a Red Dog (Magic Carpet Books) by Ysabeau S. Wilce Read Free Book Online

Mayor, and some of them are sharp as razors. Oh no, I forgot, you are a
pacifist.
I would suggest charming him with smiles and soap, then. That would be a good nonviolent approach. Honestly, I can’t see how you can be a Fyrdraaca and be a pacifist, too. It’s an absolute contradiction in terms.”
    I was not happy to see Val anymore. He was a snippy snapperhead and he was not helping at all. I ignored his happy pontificating and went back to the potty door. Poppy’s fits usually do blow over quickly. He screams and shouts for a while, and then he is done until the next time.
    “Poppy?”
    The hurtling noises abruptly stopped.
    “Flora, please let me out.” His voice sounded weak and far away.
    “Are you done screaming and shouting?”
    “Yes, Flora,” he said meekly “Promise?”
    “
Flora
—”
    “Poppy, I have the key and I am not going to let you out until you promise to be good.”
    He turned threatening. “I’m going to tell your mother.”
    “Tell her what? That I locked you in the Garterobe of Resolution because you were screaming and shouting and that you threw my cake against the kitchen wall?” There was a brief pause, and then his voice, less muffled, drifted through the keyhole. “I promise, Flora. Just please let me out. I need to get back to the Eyrie. I am feeling rather sick.”
    “I wouldn’t,” said Valefor, breathing down my neck. “Let him stew for a while.”
    “Get off.” I pushed him away, my hand shredding through his arm like a knife through smoke. I gingerly opened the door and Poppy wobbled out. He sat patiently on the settle while I bandaged up the cuts on his hands. He had smashed the mirrors with his bare fists.
    “My eyes are too green. I can’t stand the way they stare in my face,” Poppy said, as though that was an explanation.
    “I shouldn’t wonder,” Valefor muttered.
“Look on my face, I have become death, murderer of calm.”
    Poppy turned his head sharply, noticing Valefor for the first time. “What the hell are you doing down here?” Val shrank behind me, wavering.
    “If Buck catches you out, she’ll cut you up and use you for a raincoat,” Poppy warned.
    “Hold still, Poppy,” I ordered. He was shaking so hard that I kept smearing the Madama Twanky’s Cut-Eze on his shirt instead of his arm.
    “Ouch, careful with that stuff, it burns.”
    “Good on it,” I said. “Serves you right. Who’s going to clean up all that mess now, Poppy?”
    “Make your little friend do it. After all, it is
his
House,” Poppy said sarcastically.
    Valefor snorted. “Hardly anymore. Your darling lady wife locked me up in the Bibliotheca Mayor, and this is the first time I’ve been out in I don’t know how long.”
    “How
did
you get out?” Poppy asked.
    “Poppy,” I said, before Val could get me in trouble, “you should go back to your Eyrie and lie down for a while. I’m sure you’ll feel better, then—”
    “Watch him, Flora,” Poppy interrupted. “He is bound to spit and that’s going to burn. I warn you.”
    Whatever
that
meant. “Ayah so, Poppy, don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.”
    Poppy shambled to his feet. “You’d better get back to the Bibliotheca before Buck gets back, Valefor.”
    Val sniffed. “I am not afraid of Buck.”
    Poppy looked at him somberly. “You are the only one. And you are a fool.”

SIX
Cleaning Up. Val Makes an Offer. Wiggling Fingers. Another Kiss.
    I COULD HELP YOU clean up,” Val said, trailing behind me as I went downstairs to the kitchen to fetch a broom and let the dogs out.

    The dogs slunk out of the mudroom dejectedly, then slunk off into the garden. Flynnie pressed up against my legs sadly and pushed his head into my hand to be petted. I hugged his solid meaty bulk, and he licked my face before squirming free to follow his sibs into the darkness.
    “How can you do that? I thought you were diminished and without any ability.” I got the broom and a garbage sack out of the mudroom, and Val