For Tamara by Sarah Lang Read Free Book Online Page A

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    There are other ways to test for and treat / infection. / Smell, infections smell. / All kinds of smells. / Cut it out. / Dress it up clean.
    Okay, I’m taking T. out to look at the moon. / You magically are looking up at it too, okay? / She’d like that. / As would I.
    Learning how to say “no” is one of the hardest and most important things you can learn.
    Your Mum is real good at reading people, / even in their sleep & dreams. / I do not wish this on you; / you should have a say.

Do you like your hand? / The rest of your arm? I am way too tired to do an amputation today. / Do you think that blood infection can wait? / My Darling Dearest, My Beautiful Idiot: know I will never, ever forget you. / Darling I am very, very tired. / Even if your Dad were here. / Simply too much work. / I need to sleep.
    Tamara, suicides will not be uncommon. / I do not want you to think of them as irrational. / Try and help / but these people have lost everything they’ve got. / n times over.
    I haven’t written enough about how to protect yourself. / Don’t scream. / Take a breath. / Jam a screwdriver in his eye.
    I know after 9 years I’m supposed to be over you. / Sadly no one can compete. / Plus Tamara still wants to meet you.
    I want to be able to reach my hand out / and have you hold it. / I know. / Not my biggest concern. / I would just like it.
    Even when you were here, you would leave me scraps of paper with a note before you left for work. / I still have those. / Leave another.
    T., ppl are going to remember and develop rituals. / Let them. / Yourself. / Just don’t let them into the gov’t. / Respect, but have law for all.
    You know I would move the moon for you. / Although that would screw with orbit, tides, etc. / So at least a moon rock, / My Beautiful Idiot.
    T., I’m sleeping in your bed tonight. / As much as I protect you / you make me able to.
    Ok, teams: pharmacy; hs lab; latrine; water; food; fortification. Go.
    He’s my husband: he’ll be fine. He married me. I think he can deal with this.
    I have this life of extraordinary memories. It could be far, far worse.
I’d like to think you can hear me. / That we are looking at the same moon. / All that romantic crap. / But I just want you to send us a message, ok?
    I end up sleeping on the sofa. / I have all these beds / but when I turn around / you aren’t there. / No one is.
    When I’m not wearing my wedding ring / for work, whatever. / It is because I still love my husband. / That does mean I don’t care for you / but that I do still very much love my husband. / And yes, you may think that foolish / but I know that man and he is very much alive.
    Climb up / past the treeline / as high as is safe. / Survey the land. / We could do with a map.
    Shut up. / I don’t care. / See this girl here? / Yeah, I have to teach her to survive. / So hush.
    T., when you are really thinking of someone you miss / run the back of your thumb from the centre of your temple to the bridge of your nose. / No, it won’t bring them back. / It is just what we do.
    I hold you like a child. / But you can’t be one anymore, T.
    Smell is an excellent way to determine the type of infection you’re dealing with. / Have the patient lick the inside of his/her wrist. Smell that.
    Darling, sometimes there are simple questions about who you should be with. / Brush my hair?
    T., I know you’re going to want someone to take care of you. / But this is it, Darling. / Rest up. / You can do this.
    Always repeat an order. / This is like a ship. / We can’t lose anyone / and every order has to be understood.

I’m lonely as fucking shit all. / Is that what you want to hear? / And with all that tech you can’t use a shortwave to even tell me you’re alive? / I know you are working very hard to fix things. / But that doesn’t negate the fact I’m stuck here / trying to remake everything / do