Forgiveness by Iyanla Vanzant Read Free Book Online Page A

covered with a dashiki! The black power fashion trends of the 1960s did not totally eliminate my distorted body image problem, but they certainly took me to the next step—self-acceptance.
    Many people have distorted images and beliefs about their bodies that are held in place by a host of unconscious and habitual thoughts or beliefs. Today, these thoughts are called “negative body bashing.” They give rise to a host of esteem, worth, and value issues, particularly among women.
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    I F YOU THINK YOU ARE FAT OR NEED TO BE FAT, YOUR BODY WILL ACCOMMODATE THOSE THOUGHTS .
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    There are some schools of thought that promote the concept that the physical body is an “outpicturing” of the thoughts and emotions we hold about who we are and where our place is in the world. Other schools believe that if you don’t follow a specific dietary and exercise regimen, the body will simply become a reflection of what you are not doing. Then, there is the other reality. Your body is a living organism that hears and believes every thought you think and every word you speak. It follows from this particular train of thought that nothing goes on in the body that does not first occur in the mind.
    If you think you are fat or need to be fat, your body will accommodate those thoughts. If you believe that you are just fine as you are, then you will live accordingly, whether or not those thoughts are productive and supportive for your health and well-being. The issue here is not whether you are a size 2 or size 22. The issue is, What do you believe about your body? And what thoughts are you feeding yourself consciously and unconsciously?
    Mental images determine how we behave when confronted by daily life experiences. If we think of ourselves as worthwhile and valued, it will come across to other people and we will be treated accordingly. When, on the other hand, we see ourselves as less than, as not as good as, or in some way as inferior or deficient because of how we look, we will receive a corresponding reaction from those with whom we interact. Molded by both internal and external influences, self-image and body image can make a huge difference in how we interact with the world.
    I was 22 and the mother of three children when my son Damon said, “Mommy, you are the prettiest mommy in the world.” He was six years old at the time. I remember it because I was getting dressed to go job hunting. Damon was sitting on the edge of the bed watching me as I tried to get my white blouse to lay flat inside of my black skirt. Nobody, I thought to myself, looks fat or ugly in a white blouse and black skirt. They look acceptable. They look appropriate and adequate and beautiful. They look employable. More important, they are pretty.
    I carried Damon’s words with me all day, repeating them over and over as if they were a personal mantra: I am the prettiest mommy in the world, and I am going to get this job. On the subway, when I caught someone looking at me from the corner of my eye, I thought to myself, They are looking at me because I am pretty.
    The interview went smoothly, although I did not get the job. Didn’t matter. On that day, my historical programming of being fat and ugly was overwritten by a new thought. I became the prettiest mommy in the world for my son, and I have been that way ever since; even now, at a size 12, with my choice to keep my hair short and to eat all the chicken wings I can get my hands on.
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    W HAT DO YOU BELIEVE ABOUT YOUR BODY ? W HAT THOUGHTS ARE YOU FEEDING YOURSELF CONSCIOUSLY AND UNCONSCIOUSLY ?
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    D AILY F ORGIVENESS P ROCESS R EMINDERS
    For a more detailed explanation
of the Daily Forgiveness Process Guidelines ,
     
Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for at least 30 to 60 minutes.
Still your mind for at least 5 minutes or listen to the Stillness Meditation.
Read the Forgiveness Prayer once silently and once aloud.
Scan the Emotional Triggers List.
Write out the 12 Forgiveness