FORSAKEN: THE SYSTEMIC SERIES by K.W. CALLAHAN Read Free Book Online Page B

Joanna came out and joined me in the darkness.
    “You’re early,” I said after she’d pushed through the storefront’s screen door, closing the main door behind her and coming to stand beside me as I rocked.  “Still got ten minutes until your shift.” 
    “Couldn’t sleep,” she said.
    “How’s Shane doing?” I asked.
    “Fine…I guess.”  She paused, “How are any of us doing, really?”
    “Guess you’re right,” I agreed.  “But maybe we can call this place home for a while…maybe longer.”
    “Maybe,” she said, but her voice didn’t sound confident.
    “How are you doing?”              I asked after an awkward silence.
    “Same,” she said shortly. 
    Ever since the mountains of Tennessee, where Joanna had revealed that she had feelings for me, things had been slightly strained between us.  It’s not that I didn’t find her attractive – just the opposite in fact.  Maybe that’s what made things feel so uncomfortable.  I didn’t fully trust myself around her and therefore tried to act more innocent than I was actually feeling.  I think she knew there was something there, but it was something that would never be realized as long as Claire was in the picture.  And I guess that maybe my understanding of this made me even more uncomfortable.  I had to trust everyone in our group not just with my life but with the lives of my family.  And while I trusted Joanna, it made me slightly nervous knowing that she had feelings for me that would go unrequited while Claire was by my side.  It wasn’t that I thought Joanna would ever do something intentionally to get Claire out of the way, but when faced with life or death decisions that could affect Claire or her well-being, I’m afraid that a decision – consciously or not – might be made by Joanna that could allow Claire to be removed from the picture and in turn open the door for her to take a place by my side.  I of course would never voice these concerns to her, as I guessed that doing so would only make things worse, but they were there nonetheless.
    “We should pull a few extra mattresses and bedding from the houses around town tomorrow and bring them over here,” she said in the blackness.  She slowly walked over to the porch’s front steps and took a seat.  I watched her, my eyes having adjusted to the darkness so that I could make out her blackened silhouette.
    “I was thinking the same thing,” I said.  “We can take the trailer from house to house, loading up anything we need.  This time we can take our time and make more thorough searches too.  See if we can find any more food.  I’m going to talk to Sharron tomorrow too.  I’m hoping that once Paul’s better, she could start working on a garden.  If we’re planning on being here for a while, we should start getting the ground ready for planting.”
    “I wouldn’t mind finding a bottle of whiskey or beer or anything to drink for that matter,” Joanna added. 
    “You’re telling me ,” I chuckled.  “I could go for a stiff drink myself.”  I fished in my pocket for one of the packs of stale cigarettes I’d found in a house we’d searched yesterday.  I stood from the rocker, walked over and bent.  “Cigarette?” I asked, nudging Joanna’s shoulder in the darkness to alert her that I was offering her one. 
    “Thanks,” she took it and waited as I lit it for her and then lit one for myself.
    I sat down on the steps beside her where we continued to smoke largely in silence.  Occasionally, one of us would offer a brief observation on the night or the town, but neither of us seemed to want to get into anything deeper, and certainly not anything regarding one another.
    After I’d finished my cigarette, I flicked the butt away out onto Main Street and stood.
    “I think I’m going to try to get a bit more sleep,” I said.  “You got everything covered here?”
    “I’ve got it,” she said.
    I turned and walked up the steps,