FRANKS, Bill by JESUIT Read Free Book Online

to enjoy deep, untroubled sleep thus laying the foundations for recovery.
       One morning, some six weeks later, he woke up feeling strong and purposeful, ready for the world at large, his demons firmly buried . The shame he had felt gave way to confidence in his sexual choice; had the boy not actually enjoyed the experience?  He had shown no untoward reaction, no ill effects – and he had obviously not told his parents.
       However, over recent weeks, Lawrence had begun to question his own activities again . There had been so much in the newspapers about paedophilia that the public was extra sensitive to anything of that kind and, in his quieter moments, Lawrence felt so sorry for the poor victims he read about . He wondered how he, also, could do such things?   Then, alone in bed with his thoughts; thoughts that aroused him, he ratified his perversion.
       Even so, as a good Catholic boy, he had finally confessed to his parish priest in the confessional box, seeking spiritual advice . The priest, Father McGiven, had first pointed out the fact that, as he had only just brought this to confession, having been carrying out the abuse for the past four years, he had been living in permanent sin and, by accepting Communion, he had been systematically defiling Christ.
       The admonition had not been what Lawrence had been prepared for, nor had been the following advice that he should go immediately to the police and report his crimes . The confessor had suggested that Lawrence must be aware that abuse of innocent, pure children was a most heinous sin, not to mention a crime against humanity itself . He told him that, until he purged himself by admitting to the police and suffering the consequences, he could not be accepted to the Kingdom of Jesus . The priest offered to help in any way he could and would be understanding and approachable . Lawrence was given five ‘Our Fathers’ and six ‘Hail Mary’s’ to say as penance and then dismissed with the words: “Go in peace, my son.”
       He went back to the polished wooden pews in the main body of the church and knelt, quietly intoning his penance . In between the familiar prayers, his thoughts wandered, wondering why, if God was all forgiving, did he have to confess his pleasures to the police . Surely, on the Day of Judgement, his Creator would show pity . Not a single thought travelled in the direction of the suffering of his victims . By the time the penance had been completed, Lawrence had decided that the priest was wrong on this occasion; after all, whilst the Pope may be infallible, priests were not.
     
    Two days later, another hot, cloudless day, the boys were out in the fields, enjoying an unseasonable kick-about with a football . Drenched in sweat, they stopped often to take in hefty drinks of soda pop before continuing with their efforts . The game was interspersed with friendly wrestling and chasing of the two girls who had joined them . A quick kiss when caught was magic – for both parties.
       After half an hour, the heat proved too much to continue the game of soccer, so it was decided that the group, half a dozen lads and the two girls, all between the ages of eleven and thirteen, would take a ramble through the adjoining trees and fields, earthen pathways intersecting at regular intervals.
       They strolled along, chattering enthusiastically, enjoying the six-week school holiday of which they were in the fourth, not yet becoming bored by being at home . At times, one or two would scale gnarled and knotted trees, to see who could climb highest but none proved better than another, each reaching roughly the same height . As usual, the girls endured being chased by the boys, somehow always getting caught even though much fleeter of foot . One could be forgiven for believing it to be planned.
       Far into the woods, the group decided to take a rest, coming upon a small clearing . They were thankful to lie down and chat about their various