Friends Forever! by Grace Dent Read Free Book Online

one
    The following day, Saturday, I didn’t hear a word from the LBD. I assumed everyone was working on GCSE projects, what with the deadlines being near. But by Sunday night when Fleur ignored my third totally hilarious text message, I decided to call.
    â€œYes,” Fleur said rather oddly.
    â€œAll right, babe?” I chirped. “Why’s your phone off? You okay?”
    â€œI’m fine,” she clipped.
    â€œEr . . . been busy?”
    â€œJust studying,” she said. Fleur sounded angry. “Oh, and Cressida popped by with a biology textbook for me last night. We made brownies together.”
    â€œRight,” I said. There was an awkward silence. “You sound weird, Fleur, what’s up?”
    â€œNothing,” said Fleur. “Gotta go.”
    â€œFleur!” I shouted. “Tell me what’s up!”
    â€œHmmm . . . well, okay then!” Fleur said, taking a deep breath. “I just think that if you and Claude find me such an embarrassment in public, then I won’t come out with you ever again!”
    â€œEh?” I said.
    â€œSo I act like a chimpanzee, do I?” she yelled. “Well, thank you very much! Some friend you are. At least I’m not uptight and paranoid like you!”
    â€œBut, I . . . ,” I stuttered.
    â€œAnd I’ve just phoned Miss Claudette ‘acts like a forty-year-old woman’ Cassiera and given her a few home truths about herself too!”
    â€œOh God,” I groaned.
    â€œAnd FYI, I’m not such a cheap tart that I can’t even remember who my current boyfriend is!” shouted Fleur.
    â€œFleur!” I yelled. “That’s not what—”
    â€œI can’t believe you’d both slag me off like that,” said Fleur, her voice crackling into raw tears.
    â€œCressida told you all this, didn’t she?” I screamed. “Well, what a shock! Fleur, you have to listen to me about Cressida—”
    â€œCressida accidentally told me a little bit of it,” sniffled Fleur. “And don’t you start blaming this on her just because you’ve never liked her. Don’t turn this back onto her!”
    â€œFleur, it wasn’t like that!” I protested, but on the other end of the line I could hear the usually brash, fearless Fleur Iris Swan sobbing her heart out.
    And that’s when things started to go downhill.
    Silences, gossiping, arguments, mistrust.
    It took me two hours to calm Fleur down and explain the perfectly innocent context in which Claude had made those silly remarks. Claude was pretty upset too, especially as Fleur had called her “tedious” and “big-headed.”
    By midnight, we were all cool again. But I was determined to hear Cressida Sleeth’s explanation for this.

showdown
    That Monday, I spent my entire German class drilling holes in the back of Cressida’s head with my eyes. When the lunch bell sounded, I let Frau Chalmers and the other pupils file out before cornering Ms. Sleeth in the classroom all alone.
    â€œRight, you little tofu-munching freak,” I began. “I want a word with you!”
    Cressida lifted her gaze and smiled at me serenely. “Darling, I don’t speak to you, remember?” she said, shooing me away with her tiny hand. “You’re the dull one.”
    I have to say, that sort of floored me. Turning on one rib-boned pump, Cressida made for the door.
    â€œOh? Erm, right! You admit that, do you?” I yelled, following after her, grabbing her hair and yanking her blonde tresses backward. “You’ve tried pushing me out. Now you want Fleur and Claude at loggerheads! What are you getting out of this . . . you total weirdo?”
    Cressida stopped in her tracks and smirked. “Well, at the moment, sweetheart, I’m being taken to all the best parties by Fleur and I’m getting my geography and history homework done for me by Claude. While you . . . well,