directions. That just proves it.
Proves what?
When I was a boy in Fordyce, we had a neighbor-a nasty old rip name of Bradlee. Everyone called him Pop Bradlee.
Mr. James-
My father had to do business with him from time to time, and sometimes he took me with him. Back in the buckboard days, this was. Seed corn was what their trading was mostly about, at least in the spring, but sometimes they also swapped tools. There was no mail-order back then, and a good tool might circle the whole county before it got back home.
Mr. James, I hardly see the rel-
And every time we went to see that old fellow, my mama told me to plug my ears, because every other word that came out of Pop Brad-lees mouth was a cuss or something filthy. In a sour sort of way, I was starting to enjoy this. So naturally I listened all the harder. I remember that one of Pops favorite sayings was Never mount a mare without a bridle, because you can never tell which way a bitch will run.
Am I supposed to understand that?
Which way do you suppose my bitch ran, Mr. Lester?
Are you telling me your wife has?
Absconded, Mr. Lester. Decamped. Took French leave. Did a midnight flit. As an avid reader and student of American slang, such terms occur naturally to me. Lars, however-and most other town folks-will just say She run off and left him when the word gets around. Or him and the boy, in this case. I naturally thought she would have gone to her hog-fancying friends at the Farrington Company, and the next I heard from her would have been a notice that she was selling her fathers acreage.
As she means to do.
Has she signed it over yet? Because I guess Id have to go to law, if she has.
As a matter of fact, she hasnt. But when she does, I would advise you against the expense of a legal action you would surely lose.
I stood up. One of my overall straps had fallen off my shoulder, and I hooked it back into place with a thumb. Well, since shes not here, its what the legal profession calls a moot question, wouldnt you say? Id look in Omaha, if I were you. I smiled. Or Saint Louis. She was always talking about Sain-Loo. It sounds to me as if she got as tired of you fellows as she did of me and the son she gave birth to. Said good riddance to bad rubbish. A plague on both your houses. Thats Shakespeare, by the way. Romeo and Juliet. A play about love.
Youll pardon me for saying, but all this seems very strange to me, Mr. James. He had produced a silk handkerchief from a pocket inside his suit-I bet traveling lawyers like him have lots of pockets-and began to mop his face with it. His cheeks were now not just flushed but bright red. It wasnt the heat of the day that had turned his face that color. Very strange indeed, considering the amount of money my client is willing to pay for that piece of property, which is contiguous with Hemingford Stream and close to the Great Western rail line.
Its going to take some getting used to on my part as well, but I have the advantage of you.
Yes?
I know her. Im sure you and your clients thought you had a deal all made, but Arlette James lets just say that nailing her down to something is like trying to nail jelly to the floor. We need to remember what Pop Bradlee said, Mr. Lester. Why, the man was a countrified genius.
Could I look in the house?
I laughed again, and this time it wasnt forced. The man had gall, Ill give him that, and not wanting to go back empty-handed was understandable. Hed ridden twenty miles in a dusty truck with no doors, he had twenty more to bounce across before he got back to Hemingford City (and a train ride after that, no doubt), he had a sore ass, and the people whod sent him out here werent going to be happy with his report when he finally got to the end of all that hard traveling. Poor feller!
Ill ask you one back: could you drop your pants so I could look at your goolie-bits?
I find that offensive.
I dont blame you. Think of it as a not a simile, thats not right, but a kind of parable.
I dont
Proves what?
When I was a boy in Fordyce, we had a neighbor-a nasty old rip name of Bradlee. Everyone called him Pop Bradlee.
Mr. James-
My father had to do business with him from time to time, and sometimes he took me with him. Back in the buckboard days, this was. Seed corn was what their trading was mostly about, at least in the spring, but sometimes they also swapped tools. There was no mail-order back then, and a good tool might circle the whole county before it got back home.
Mr. James, I hardly see the rel-
And every time we went to see that old fellow, my mama told me to plug my ears, because every other word that came out of Pop Brad-lees mouth was a cuss or something filthy. In a sour sort of way, I was starting to enjoy this. So naturally I listened all the harder. I remember that one of Pops favorite sayings was Never mount a mare without a bridle, because you can never tell which way a bitch will run.
Am I supposed to understand that?
Which way do you suppose my bitch ran, Mr. Lester?
Are you telling me your wife has?
Absconded, Mr. Lester. Decamped. Took French leave. Did a midnight flit. As an avid reader and student of American slang, such terms occur naturally to me. Lars, however-and most other town folks-will just say She run off and left him when the word gets around. Or him and the boy, in this case. I naturally thought she would have gone to her hog-fancying friends at the Farrington Company, and the next I heard from her would have been a notice that she was selling her fathers acreage.
As she means to do.
Has she signed it over yet? Because I guess Id have to go to law, if she has.
As a matter of fact, she hasnt. But when she does, I would advise you against the expense of a legal action you would surely lose.
I stood up. One of my overall straps had fallen off my shoulder, and I hooked it back into place with a thumb. Well, since shes not here, its what the legal profession calls a moot question, wouldnt you say? Id look in Omaha, if I were you. I smiled. Or Saint Louis. She was always talking about Sain-Loo. It sounds to me as if she got as tired of you fellows as she did of me and the son she gave birth to. Said good riddance to bad rubbish. A plague on both your houses. Thats Shakespeare, by the way. Romeo and Juliet. A play about love.
Youll pardon me for saying, but all this seems very strange to me, Mr. James. He had produced a silk handkerchief from a pocket inside his suit-I bet traveling lawyers like him have lots of pockets-and began to mop his face with it. His cheeks were now not just flushed but bright red. It wasnt the heat of the day that had turned his face that color. Very strange indeed, considering the amount of money my client is willing to pay for that piece of property, which is contiguous with Hemingford Stream and close to the Great Western rail line.
Its going to take some getting used to on my part as well, but I have the advantage of you.
Yes?
I know her. Im sure you and your clients thought you had a deal all made, but Arlette James lets just say that nailing her down to something is like trying to nail jelly to the floor. We need to remember what Pop Bradlee said, Mr. Lester. Why, the man was a countrified genius.
Could I look in the house?
I laughed again, and this time it wasnt forced. The man had gall, Ill give him that, and not wanting to go back empty-handed was understandable. Hed ridden twenty miles in a dusty truck with no doors, he had twenty more to bounce across before he got back to Hemingford City (and a train ride after that, no doubt), he had a sore ass, and the people whod sent him out here werent going to be happy with his report when he finally got to the end of all that hard traveling. Poor feller!
Ill ask you one back: could you drop your pants so I could look at your goolie-bits?
I find that offensive.
I dont blame you. Think of it as a not a simile, thats not right, but a kind of parable.
I dont
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