attendant questioned Abby quietly.
“Everything work out ok with your seat change?”
Abby looked at me, somewhat embarrassed before finally whispering back, “Yes, everything is fine.”
As the attendant moved down the aisle, my seatmate exclaimed, “Wow this food looks good. I was starving!” She attacked the food with her utensils like it would get away if she left it alone.
The attendant’s overheard revelation had left me a little mystified to say the least. Why would she change seats to sit by me? The delayed line at the boarding gate now came back to mind, as she held up the whole line while she apparently looked into changing seats.
“You mind explaining that last comment from the attendant?” I asked, unsure if I wanted to know the reason or not.
A look of embarrassment crossed her face momentarily, followed by a quick look of determination as she set her utensils down while leaning back in her seat. She looked at me full on and started in on her tale.
“Look, I’m sorry to weird you out like that. It’s really not what you may think. I only talked to two of the other passengers before we boarded, one was this weird guy that looked at me like I was his next victim. When he found out my seat number, he showed me his ticket, revealing we would be sitting together. I was not looking forward to that at all, and then I met you.”
“You were nice, quiet, and non-threatening. Plus, it really looked to me like you could use a friend. After they called to board the plane, I made the decision to try to change seats. They really didn’t want to do it, until I pointed out Mr. Weird to them. They were like, totally agreeable to the change then. It took awhile for all the paperwork to go through; that’s why I was so late getting on the plane.”
Picking up her fork, she picked at a piece of fish, sitting quietly, waiting for my next move I guessed.
“Non-threatening huh,” I said with a slight smile forming on my face. “I don’t know if I like that or not.”
Her smile was quick to return as she exclaimed, “Oh thanks for not being mad at me Gabe; I just knew you’d understand if you knew the whole story.”
We set about to eat our meals, the beef tasting very good after a long spell of having little of it. I was unable to finish my portion, not used to having big ‘American’ meals as of late. Abby it seemed was more than willing to finish mine off as she grabbed my plate and attacked the beef with gusto.
I marveled at her eating abilities, especially considering her small size. How she packed it all in that little body was beyond me.
While she consumed my meal, I looked out the window at the night sky, the puffy clouds below us rolling by slowly. My thoughts went immediately to Betty, her love of travel and flying, always wanting the window seat so she could gaze at the sky and the ground as it meandered by the window in slow motion.
My heart was in my throat as I thought of our happy times together. “I miss you,” I mouth silently, closing my eyes and remembering…everything. If only I’d turned around…
Chapter 11
August 21, 1998
I sat there looking out the window for quite awhile, thinking of Betty and Frank, feeling the shame of a man who has let everyone he cares about in his life down. I continued to wallow for a few moments until I again realized how pointless the guilt was right then.
“Stop it damn it!” I mumbled to myself.
“What?” my seatmate asked, having just finished the last of my meal and hers.
I looked toward Abby, ready to jump down her throat for butting into my life. Finding a worried face of someone who seemed truly concerned, I decided on a different tact.
Putting on a little smile, I explained that I was just talking to myself, a condition that I was apt to repeat at almost any time.
A relieved look crossed her face, “That’s good, I was a little worried Gabe; I do that all of the time too. It’s like, ‘You ditz, why did you do that’?
Learning to Kill: Stories