hand.
âBen McBain,â he said, introducing himself even though theyâd just played a whole game against each other. âAnd hey? Letâs do this again in the championship game.â
âBrian DeBartolo,â the other boy said. âAnd about the championship game? Iâm totally down with that.â
Ben knew he was holding things up, didnât care. âThat play you made, it was, like, mad crazy,â he said.
âLucky guess,â Brian said. âI just figured that when the game was on the line, they were going to you. And when your QB turned, he was only looking at you.â
When heâd finished shaking everybodyâs hand, telling them good game, there was a moment, as Ben took the long walk back to the Ramsâ bench, when he tried to remember what heâd felt like in the morning. Before. But right now he couldnât, as hard as he tried. Truth was, he felt as bad as Shawn looked, still sitting there, same spot, end of the bench.
Even Coach OâBrien didnât go over there, as if he knew this was a time to leave his own son alone. Ben knew with his own parents: It was one of the things parents seemed to know. Not always. But sometimes they just seemed to know when there was a force field around you.
So he just motioned the rest of the guys to gather aroundhim in front of the bench, as if Shawn wasnât even a part of the team in that moment. Or maybe Coach just knew he could say whatever he wanted to say to Shawn later.
âListen, guys,â Coach said, âlosing the first one this way will just make winning the first one next week even sweeter.â
Then: âIâm not looking to give you a pep talk right now. Mostly because you donât want one. And Iâm not gonna lie to you, it stinks having one get ripped away from us that way. But itâs one game. Be proud of the way you fought back today, be proud of the way you took it down the field the way you did at the end. I knew we had talent with this group. Now I find out how much character youâve all got. See you Monday at practice.â
Ben wanted to go over and say something to Shawn, felt like he ought to say something. But before he had the chance, he watched Shawn stand up, take off his helmet, start walking by himself toward the parking lot.
And Ben knew what he wanted to say: That they won as a team and lost as a team, and not to be too hard on himself, they could all probably go back and find something, a play or two, that could have had them ahead before they tried to drive the ball down the field at the end.
Too late. Ben didnât want to make a show out of running to catch up with him. So he let him go, watched him take the long walk across the soccer field at The Rock and then the baseball field on the other side of that, to the parking lot where his dadâs SUV was, Shawn getting smaller the farther away he got from the game heâd just played.
Looking to Ben in that moment as if heâd lost more than a football game.
The next thing Ben saw was Shawnâs helmet flying through the air, bouncing high off the concrete in the parking lot, like that was his last bad pass of the game.
Ben couldnât stop thinking about how mad Shawn looked after the game. Like he was mad at the world. He thought about calling him Saturday night, just to see how he was doing, decided to leave it alone.
But after church on Sunday morning he told his mom that he was going to take a ride over to Shawnâs house on his bike.
His mom said, âDonât you want to try calling him first?â
Ben said, âIâm afraid that if I do, heâll tell me not to come.â
She smiled. âLike that would ever stop you.â
âHe makes it rough to like him sometimes. Really rough. But I just feel like I gotta do something, just to be a good teammate.â
âNot âgood,â pal. Great. Youâre a great teammate.â
They were both at
Kevin J. Anderson, Rebecca Moesta