Geek Chic by Margie Palatini Read Free Book Online

the boards that has pictures of me all over it.
    “We were thinking of taking a photo or two in front of President Theodore Roosevelt’s house.”
    “He was the only president to be born in New York City,” I blurt. (
Can’t help it. I’m a natural blurter.
)“I’m pretty sure the house is on Twentieth Street.”
    All the magazine people laugh.
    (
I really am missing the humor here.
)
    “You’re right,” says Jazz.
    Hoyt points back to the boards. “And we’re planning locations in places like perhaps the Guggenheim, the Met, the planetarium, the American Museum of Natural History …the Staten Island Ferry. …”
    I look at Jazz. “I think I still don’t get it.”
    “Zoey, we believe you are the perfect person to write a diary or column for the magazine representing our readers with your thoughts. Things you like to do. Places you visit.”
    “Maybe even do a blog,” says EEP. “A blog on our website would be very cool indeed.”
    Indeed? (
“Indeed” is like one of my most dollar-word choices.
)
    Are my ears buzzing now too or is that Hoyt’s phone?
    “How does all of this sound, Zoey?”
    “Writing for your magazine?
Me?
Sounds yes,you know … indeed … what you said. But are you really sure you want me? Because, really Jazz … I’mnotthatcoolI’mnotevenalittlecoolI’m souncoolIneedafairygodmothertomakemecoolbe foresixthgradereallytrulymyarrowiswaydownon TheBashleycoolabilitymeterVenusandIneversitat TheTableBashley. Wesitat … Table Ten.”
    Jazz looks at me, then at Venus.
    “The who? The what? When? Where?”
    I take a deep breath.
    “Everybody at my school thinks Zoey Zinevich is …well… a sort of …
    geek.”
    “Geek chic!” shouts Aunt Rootie.
    Did she really just say that?
Geek Chic?
My own aunt is
so
not helping this situation.
    “Geek chic? LOVE IT!” cries EEP, while Jazz’s people rush to find a pencil to write it down.
    Can this get any worse?
    Geek chic?
    Something has gotten all mixed up here.
    This is not the happening I exactly wanted to happen.
    Jazz smiles. “So, Zoey? Ready to be
U Gel’s
very own … ‘
geekanista’?”
    Okay—
    (… wait-Wait-Wait!
    Lightbulb Momento!
    I know what this is.
This is one of those weird “other dimension” things
that Simon Malachek always talks about.
It’s when everything gets all weird and backward and sideways,
and nothing makes any sense. But then
you wake up or pinch yourself or whatever,
and everything is the way it’s supposed to be.
Yes. Uh-huh. Absolutely.
A weird other dimension.
That’s what this is.
)

    Ouch!
    Or not.
    It’s still Fedora and Bowling Shirt Central.
    Stomach is still grumbling.
    Probably have a black-and-blue mark.
    And Jazz is not a fairy godmother.
    “Jazz? Can I ask you one question?”
    “Of course.”
    “Does this mean you’re not really going to give me an incredible, cool makeover? Ever?”
    Jazz puts her arm around me.
    “A makeover? Now why would Zoey Zinevich ever want one of those?”

Fifteen
    Three days later…
    So this is what I’m thinking … being almost eleven is still very complicated.
    Especially when you don’t have a fairy godmother.
    But sometimes …
    stuff isn’t so hard to figure out on your own after all.

    All-New Episodes of
    The Lunchroom Life of Zoey Zinevich

    ACT 1: Scene 1
    11:28 a.m.
    The Hot-Lunch Lunch Line
    Venus and Zoey are once again last in the Hot-Lunch Lunch Line. They have stayed after library class to help Mrs. Temlock-Fields in the Media Center. She is still teaching them Italian. Today they learn “
magnifico
,” which means “magnificent,” “superb,” and “fantastic.” Zoey and Venus also decide to translate it as “most excellent.”
    The girls inch along the HotLunch Lunch Line after passing the slumgullion plop of the Super Salerno and the OFFICIAL CHECK of Mrs. Petrovic, and then they find themselves standing behind …
    The Bashleys.
    ASHLEY AND BRITTANY:
    Venus! Zoey! Zoey! Venus!
    ASHLEY:
    Is it true what we’ve been