Get Smart 3 - Get Smart Once Again! by William Johnston Read Free Book Online

explanation for that,” Max said.
    They had reached the clerk.
    “Doing some fresh painting, I see,” Max said.
    “This is our new office,” the clerk smiled. “We just moved in a few minutes ago. Before, we were up front with all the other airlines. But it got crowded. We like privacy.”
    Max turned to Peaches. “I told you there was a logical explanation.”
    “Right in here,” the clerk said, opening the door.
    They stepped in and found themselves in a room about the size of a janitor’s closet.
    “Let’s see now, you’re looking for a deal on a flight to New York,” the clerk said.
    Max’s eyes narrowed. “How did you know that?”
    “I have a sixth sense about people who are headed for New York,” the clerk replied. “When I see one, a bell rings in my mind, and a little sign pops up. It says: ‘There’s one!’ ”
    “Well, in this case, your sixth sense is wrong,” Max said. “We’re not one, we’re two. The lady will be accompanying me.”
    “I have just the thing for you,” the clerk said. “Two seats on the next Arr Dee flight to New York.”
    “That sounds about right,” Max said. “When does it leave?”
    “As soon as you get to the plane.”
    “That’s convenient,” Max nodded. “And the cost?”
    “Seven-thousand dollars,” the clerk replied. “Unless, of course, you happen to be a secret agent. Secret agents travel free.”
    “Are we in luck!” Max said. “And how much for the lady?”
    The clerk looked at Peaches. “How much are you asking?”
    “No, no, she’s not for sale. What I mean is, how much will it cost for her to fly to New York?”
    The clerk thought for a moment, then said, “Well, let’s see, she’ll need gas and oil. Gas, I think, is twenty cents a gallon. And oil—”
    “No, no, no. She doesn’t fly herself. What I’m trying to find out is, what will you charge for a ticket to fly to New York on your airline?”
    “Tickets fly free,” the clerk replied.
    “Let me put it another way,” Max said. “Suppose a secret agent came in here, accompanied by a lady cryptographer, and asked you what it would cost for a ticket for the lady cryptographer to fly to New York—what would your answer be?”
    “Nothing.”
    “You wouldn’t answer?”
    “No, I mean there would be no charge. You see, there’s a vicious story going the rounds that Arr Dee frowns on ladies who take pictures of graves. There’s not a bit of truth in it. Some of our best friends are lady cryptographers. So, to combat that awful lie, we let lady cryptographers fly free—as long, of course, as they’re accompanied by secret agents.”
    Max extended a hand. “I think we’ve got ourselves a deal,” he said.
    The clerk shook Max’s hand warmly. “Your plane is waiting,” he said. “Just go out to the runway and walk to the far end of the field.”
    “Don’t your planes come to the terminal?”
    “No, it’s much too crowded. Our planes like privacy.”
    “That’s understandable,” Max said. “I like a little privacy myself every now and then.”
    Max and Peaches left the Arr Dee office, made their way back through the terminal, walked across the ramp to the runway, then headed for the far end of the field. Every once in a while they had to step off the runway to let a plane land or take off.
    “I’m still not sure about this,” Peaches said. “I’m afraid we’re making a mistake.”
    “At these prices? Impossible.”
    “That clerk—he looked familiar to me. He looked a lot like that tout. As a matter of fact, he looked a lot like our first cab driver, too.”
    “Ridiculous. They all had different faces.”
    “I think they were all Noman. They were all plump.”
    “So is Santa Claus. But I don’t think you’d get very far accusing Santa Claus of being Noman. Besides, if you did, you’d break a lot of little hearts.”
    “Children’s hearts mend quickly.”
    “I wasn’t thinking of children, I was thinking of me.”
    Peaches pointed.