Getting Old Can Kill You by Rita Lakin Read Free Book Online

looks like furniture she’s seen in photos of the 1920s or ’30s. There’s an old beat-up desk. The faded gray sofa is probably filled with horsehair. She’d bet the muddy-colored rug hasn’t been cleaned in years. Nor has the place been painted, either.
    “He looks like an actor,” Bella whispers, staring at a photo of a man she assumes is Mike Gatkes holding some kind of trophy.
    Sophie comments, “An actor who plays serial killers.”
    Bella asks, “What does a serial killer look like?”
    Sophie nods. “Him.”
    Ida whispers, “Shh, he’s coming.”
    Mike Gatkes comes out of his kitchen with three bottles of water and hands them out to the exhausted girls. They drink greedily, gulping them down.
    Ida’s first glance at Mike is almost enough to make her turn them around and run back down, but she knows the girls are breathing hard already and need to rest. Ida notes that he has a head of black spiky hair that looks as if he never combs it. He’s short, very muscular, desperately needs a shave, and wears old odd-looking clothes and scuffed shoes. He does seem dangerous. Has she made a mistake?
    “Knew those flights would be a killer. Sorry about that, ladies.” He sounds friendly enough.
    Bella says, “I think I counted thirty-nine steps.”
    “Like the movie,” Mike comments, smiling, as if he were an old buddy reminiscing. “Remember that one with Robert Donat? There are only fifteen steps, but it probably felt like thirty-nine.”
    Bella is puzzled. “I don’t remember an actor named donut.”
    Ida tries to make small talk as she finishes the water. “Your office looks like a movie set.”
    Mike beams. “Well detected. You’re close. It’s meant to be a replica of the movie office of San Francisco’s famous author Dashiell Hammett. You know, The Maltese Falcon .”
    “Really,” says Ida to be polite. “How interesting.” As if she would ever read books like that or even see the movie.
    He proudly points out the oak armchair, the scarred desk, the brass ashtray. He grins. “Some say I even look a little like Humphrey Bogart, who played the lead in the movie.”
    Ida hmmphs to herself. What’s he so proud of? Bogart was no beauty.
    Sophie can’t resist. “Gladdy should be here. She loves reading mysteries.”
    Ida doesn’t want to let her talk about their former associates. “Well, Mr. Gatkes, shall we get down to business? Would you like to tell us a little about yourself?”
    “Call me Mike. The photos on my wall tell my stories. Here I am with the mayor of Miami giving me a commendation.” He points to the news photo of a man snarling as he’s being arrested. “You heard of the famous Son of Sam case? Well, I captured Son of Sheldon. Scared the hell out of women in Boca.”
    He continues with other startling captures. “Remember the Fort Lauderdale Causeway terrorist? He snuck into his victims’ houses via boat. I caught that big fish.” He moves quickly from one action photo to another.
    The girls are finally impressed. Ida still has reservations, but he seems to know what he’s talking about.
    Mike continues his tour. He takes them into the next room, which is a classroom with a chalkboard. “This is where I teach you the ropes. What a PI does. What kind of training you need. How to use firearms. How to handle evidence. Scene of the crime—what to look for. How to write reports. What clothing to wear.”
    He goes on and on.
    “Once you’re ready, your first assignment will be an actual case to solve. It will come from the list of clients I already have as a PI.” He throws them a bone, so to speak. “Maybe you’ll learn so much, you’ll be able to even solve one of my cold cases.” Not that Ida believes it.
    She cuts to the chase. “What’s your fee?”
    He smiles. Ida notices his teeth are yellow and crooked. “First thing. You’re entitled to your senior citizen discount.”
    At Ida’s hesitation he winks and adds, “And for you ladies, a group price cut as