Given (Give &Take) by Kelli Maine Read Free Book Online

chest against my cheek and his embrace cracked me open, and tears rolled from my eyes.
    Merrick covered us with the down duvet and held me tight against him. “What is it? Was I too—”
    “No,” I whispered, placing a kiss over his heart. “It’s just with everything—yesterday—the arguing, and you seem so far away, locked from me inside your head with this whole mess—I just…” I lifted my head, resting my chin on his chest to see his eyes, always so deep, their darkness so sincere. “I miss you.”
    Merrick traced a tear down my cheek, his finger featherlight on my skin. “I’m sorry. I want to be… I’ve never…” He trailed off, glancing up at the ceiling. “I want to be the kind father my own father never was. I can’t screw this up.”
    Overwhelming feelings clenched in my chest, sending more tears flowing from my eyes. “Merrick,” I said, my voice thick with emotion. I scooted up his body, resting on top of him. “I love you.”
    He held my head between his hands and kissed me. I tasted his sweet lips and my salty tears. His mouth movedover mine slowly, thoroughly. I cherished each and every kiss. Every touch. Every time we made love.
    My fingers slid up the sides of his neck, the tips tickled by the hair on his nape. I treasured this man, could never imagine loving someone as much as I loved him. Never wanted to spend a day without him for the rest of my life.

Nine
Merrick
    T he train sped across the French countryside toward Nice. No matter how much I wanted to spend the next week locked in a Paris hotel room with Rachael, never getting dressed or leaving the bed, I couldn’t abandon my fatherly duty to go to Nadia. She needed me.
    I’d lost too much time with my kids already, and I’d make Enzo pay for every year. Every lie. Every pang of guilt over Gina Montgomery’s death—fake death.
    So many lies.
    One mistake—sex with Gina—getting Gina pregnant when I was so young caused my father to set all of his devious plots against me into motion.
    And God’s honest truth: I couldn’t even really remember sex with Gina Montgomery. It was all so awkward and over before it really began. More like a wet dream than a first time.
    “What are you thinking about?” Rachael said, startling me from the thoughts running through my mind as fast as the train. I turned away from the window to face her. Her open expression, wide, eager eyes, and warm voice sucked me in every time.
    I could never keep anything from her, even if I wanted to. She was a seductive force of nature, plying words off my tongue without me even realizing.
    “I don’t remember being with Gina.”
    Rachael’s eyes flickered. “You don’t?”
    I shrugged. “It was a long time ago. I was way too young. I don’t imagine it was all that memorable for her either.” I chuckled, hoping to play it off. It bothered me, but it shouldn’t. Why did it matter if I remembered? I got MJ out of the deal. And Nadia.
    She watched me for a moment, curiosity written all over her face.
    “What?”
    She shook her head. “Nothing.”
    I almost prodded her to tell me what was on her mind, but let it go as she tucked back into the book she’d been reading. There was nothing left to say anyway. The past was the past.
    I just wished my crazy-ass past would stop butting in between us. I wanted to give Rachael the life she deserved, not some dramatic emotional roller coaster. I reached over and rested my hand on her thigh, craving the contact that always calmed my racing mind and rattled nerves. She leaned her head against my shoulder and turned the page of her book, sighing contentedly.
    We had another thirty minutes until we reached the Aix-en-Provence station and transferred trains. After that, it was another three hours to Nice. Rachael hadn’t knownwhich leg of the trip Nadia, Gina, and Enzo were on, or if they were already in Nice, or staying, or moving on.
    It was like chasing shadows.

    We arrived at the Nice-Ville station in late