Godless by James Dobson Read Free Book Online

all, he hadn’t been playing well enough to deserve Matthew’s attention.
    Where had God been when the transition inheritance got tied up in a legal mess for so long it forced Matthew to drop out of college? When the money finally did arrive, half of it went to a criminal lawyer in order to get the police off his back. Such a waste! Especially since the detective had confirmed three times that Matthew couldn’t possibly have committed the assassination.
    And then there was the near miss with the breathtaking Maria Davidson. Against all hope, she’d seemed to find him attractive. A picture in the high school annual and a virtual connection had nearly blossomed into a real-world romance. That is, until a case of mistaken identity chased her out of his life forever.
    Perhaps the most disturbing sign of God’s absence had been the dark cloud that had overshadowed every fiber of Matthew’s existence for seventy-three days he would rather forget. The trips to Reno had managed to numb some of the pain. But it had also drained what was left of his inheritance. So in the end, rather than funding his dream, his mother’s estate had slipped into the hands of lawyers and casino owners.
    He felt abandoned. Worse, rejected. He wanted to become an atheist. But then whom would he blame for all that had happened? So against his own will, Matthew still believed in God. And that, he realized, is what frightened him about the look in Mrs. Baxter’s eyes. She seemed to know something about him Matthew hadn’t figured out himself. Possibly saw through his honed script to perceive his lonely soul.
    â€œI sense you need to talk to someone.” She had been right. He had never felt so isolated in his life.
    He had hoped the new job would help. Perhaps it had, a little. Everyone needed to feel successful at something. And he did, especially after receiving the associate-of-the-month award twice. But while success had funded a halfway decent apartment and paid down much of his gambling debt, it hadn’t brought him what he missed most: a mentor like Dr. Vincent, whom he had vowed never to speak to again. Matthew had relished discussing philosophy, or religion, or even girls with his favorite professor. He now grieved the lost relationship almost as much as he resented the shocking betrayal. Why would Dr. Vincent name Matthew as Judge Santiago’s potential assassin? Hadn’t he known him better than that?
    Matthew pulled the three-inch card Ellie Baxter had offered him from his back pocket. He flipped it from one side to the other and back again. Curious, he typed the online address into his tablet.
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    The offer reminded Matthew of what he had experienced as a child whenever his mother brought him to Father Tomberlin’s confessional. He would reluctantly parrot the expected words, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” Then he’d told the priest about every offense he could recall, and a few he made up for the fun of it. He had never taken the ritual seriously, but recalled feeling better afterward, especially whenever he had done something that left him feeling guilty.
    Matthew smiled at the recollection. He would love to feel better now. Perhaps the Sacrament of Penance, or whatever they called the process these days, would do him some good. Not because he had done anything wrong, or because he believed in sin or absolution. But he did still consider himself a spiritual person. What harm could come of a