and he selected what he assured me was the perfect bottle of red. I took a sip and tried not to make a face like I’d just swallowed an entire sour grapefruit. Meanwhile, he told me about his job, and I told him about mine. Ron was so sweet to talk to, and I hoped he felt the same spark I was feeling.
Unfortunately, the spark was quick to fizzle when he got carried away by something even more dull and nerdy than wine terminology: his World of Warcraft achievements. He seemed über excited to tell me about every level he’d surpassed in that imaginary world, and even when I tried to change the subject, he still looped it back around somehow to orcs, mages, and elves. It wasn’t long before I wanted to hit him in the head with a battleaxe. What had started out like a storybook romance had gone horribly wrong. The handsome man with a great job and a sexy smile was nothing more than a gamer and some sort of –phile that I still could not pronounce.
I attempted to change the subject again, animating my conversation with my hands a bit, in an attempt to draw his attention back to reality. As I did, I accidently knocked over his glass of wine.
“What the hell!?” he said in a tone far more angry than I would have expected over an accidental spill.
“Oh! I’m so, so sorry,” I said, mortified and trying to use one of the satin napkins to sop it up. “I’m such a klutz sometimes.” Blushing, I pushed a puddle of crimson liquid off the edge of the table and into my glass, then looked at him sheepishly and shrugged. “Can’t cry over spilt wine, huh?”
“Maybe you can’t!” he spat, looking at me like I was the spawn of Satan and then getting up to bolt off to the men’s room.
Fifteen long minutes went by, and he still wasn’t back, so I went to look for him. I asked the bartender at his station near the bathrooms, and he informed me that my date had deserted me.
Not sure what to do, I sat back down to gather my thoughts. A few minutes later, the maîtr e d ' brought the bill to me. Not only had Ron abandoned me, but he’d committed a dine-and-dash, leaving me to pick up the tab. Even worse, the bottle of sour wine was $1,000. I couldn’t believe my eyes, especially since the so-called fine wine tasted like nothing but liquefied Sour Patch Kids. I had no idea how I was going to pay for the meal and our drinks, and I couldn’t possibly make any kind of discreet exit in those ridiculous heels Kate had shackled onto my feet, but then I remembered something: Ron’s friend! He said he owns the place, right? Brad something…
I immediately got the attention of the snooty-looking maîtr e d ' and asked for Brad, only to be looked at like I was insane.
“Brad?” he said, then laughed, as if the name was somehow inferior for the staff of their uppity restaurant. “There is no Brad here. Now, miss, shall I put this on your Visa or MasterCard?”
I held my finger up at the man and asked him to wait one moment. Desperate, I tried to call Ron. Of course he didn’t pick up, so I left a message on his voicemail to remind him that he’d left me with a restaurant check that cost more than my rent.
“Do you have a credit card, miss?” the waiter asked, looking at me just as impatiently as the maîtr e d ' was.
“They’re, uh…all maxed out,” I said under my breath. “If you can just give me a few minutes…”
“Yes, miss. Take all the time you need, but please do not leave until the bill is settled.”
Even after they walked away to tend to other diners, I noticed that the rest of the staff were staring at me. Even the busboy was giving me an evil eye as he rearranged the salt shakers and wiped down the tables. I tried calling a few of my friends for help, but none of them answered, and I knew none of them would have that kind of money even if I did get in touch with them. I blew out a breath, wondering what I was going to do, and I vowed then and there that I would never, ever, ever go on another date