and
placed on the grass next to her.
She scrunched her eyes to avoid the sun. I shifted and sat in front
of her, so my shadow would cover her face.
‘Ah, that’s nice.Tall shady tree, thank you.’
‘People in college talk about us. How we are always together,’ I
said.
‘So? Let them. As long as we know there is nothing between us.’
I tilted my body sideways in protest. The sun was back on her face.
‘What?’she said and cohered her eyes with her hand.‘Where did
my tree go?’
‘The tree is not feeling appreciated.’
'What do you mean?’
‘Why is there nothing between us?’ I said, my upper body still bent
to the side.
‘Should there be? First, can you sit like you were sitting before, so
people don’t think you are weird and my delicate skin can be protected
from the sun?’
I sat up straight once again.
‘Better,’ she said. ‘I need a pillow. Move forward please, tree.’
She put her head in my lap.
‘Nice. Now, what do you want, pillow-tree?’
I’d had many such arguments with her over the past month. She
had become an expert at dodging the issue, always getting away with
some nonsense, like now.
‘Give me your cardigan,’ I said.
Why? Are you cold? It’s a girl’s sweater, pillow-tree,’ she said and
giggled.
I placed the sweater over my head. It hid my face.
‘What?’ she said.
I said nothing.
‘Are you sulking, my tall tree?’ she said.
I didn’t respond. She pulled the sweater towards her so that both
our faces came under it.
'Yes? Sulky man, what’s the issue?’ she said, her face upside-down
and huge, given that it was so close to mine.
I did not respond. She blew on my face but I did not react.
'Everyone here must be finding this so creepy,’ she said,‘our faces
under the sweater.’
'Nobody cares,’ I said.
'I thought you said everyone talks about us.’
I let out a grunt of protest. She laughed. I took aim and bent. In a
second I managed to place my lips on hers, despite her face being
upside-down. Spiderman kisses like that. It isn’t easy. I wouldn’t
advise it ifvou’re kissing someone for the first time.
She sprang up. As she rose, her forehead hit my chin. I bit my
tongue.
'Hey,’ she said, ‘not fair.’
I held my mouth in pain. Her forehead had hurt me badly. Still, the
pain paled in comparison to the joy I felt from landing my first kiss.
‘Are you hurt?’ she said.
I made a face.
'Listen, I’m sorry. But what was that?’ she said.
'A kiss.’
'I know. What for?’
'I felt like it.’
She stood up, collected her tiffin box and walked away. I ran
behind her. She ignored me and walked faster.
I held her arm. She stopped and glared at me until I let go. She
started to walk away again.
'I am sorry, okay?’ I said and blocked her way.‘I thought you like
me.
‘Madhav, please understand, I’m not comfortable with all this,’
‘I really like you, Riya. You mean so much to me. You are the
reason I’ve survived in this place.’
‘So appreciate what we have. Don’t spoil it.’
‘What do we have? What am I to you?’
'If we kiss, we have something; if we don’t, then nothing?’ she
said.
I kept quiet.
She looked at me for a few seconds. She shook her head in
disappointment, turned and walked off. I saw her reach the main gate
and get inside her blue car, Only then did I realise I still held her
cardigan in my hand.
*
I didn't know if she would come to play basketball with me after
the cardigan incident. To my surprise, she did, all svelte in a new Nike
top and white shorts. We played without much conversation. Usually,
we would stop to chat every five minutes. Today, she focused on the
ball like a soldier does in combat with an enemy/.
'I am sorry, okay?’ I said, Playing with her wasn't as much fun as
before.
‘It's fine,' she said,‘Let's not talk about it again,’ I put on a sorry
face for the next twenty minutes. Finally, I held my ears and stood in
the centre of
Learning to Kill: Stories