Happy All the Time by Laurie Colwin Read Free Book Online Page A

said.
    â€œShe works at the Board. She’s a linguist and she’s very nasty to me.”
    â€œThat’s a step,” said Guido. “Most of your other girls didn’t seem capable of any human action.”
    â€œShe’s full of human action,” said Vincent. “Her name is Misty Berkowitz and she hates everything.”
    â€œMisty?”
    â€œDo you think that’s a bad sign?” Vincent said. “She says it’s her real name and claims that it’s her name because her mother is a jerk, but it isn’t her real name. Her initials are A. E.”
    â€œI still don’t see what your problem is,” said Guido.
    â€œI walked her home,” said Vincent. “Then I kissed her. Then I have to run into her with Winnie on my arm. She was with someone. They were laughing. They were probably laughing at me.”
    Guido was about to accuse Vincent of childishness, but he stopped himself. He had never seen Vincent so emotional. He could remember Vincent being troubled by women, or bothered by them, or made to feel guilty on their account, but he had never seen Vincent agitated by a girl. The tail of his shirt hung below his jacket. His loosened tie hung to one side. His hair looked as if he had spent the morning running his hands through it. This made Guido feel very old and wise. He felt that Vincent was about to have his heart broken at last and that he would be a bad friend to stop it. Vincent needed to have his heart broken. A go-round with a mean girl might teach him a thing or two that his experiments in vacuity had never provided. A broken heart, Guido thought, was not the worst thing that can happen to an intelligent man who makes stupid choices in love. And besides, Guido believed that Vincent had never been in love. Now he was displaying all the signs: agitation, odd behavior, unplanned kisses, and gloom.
    â€œWhy don’t you find out?” he said, kindly.
    â€œFind out what?” Vincent said.
    â€œIf she was laughing at you.”
    â€œYou think I should?” said Vincent. “Maybe I should. What a wonderful idea. That’s what I’ll do. Okay. I’m off.” And he bounced out of the office leaving Guido feeling like a father who has sent his young son out into the world for the first time.
    Vincent sat in his office, feeling worse and worse. He had seen Misty out of the corner of his eye and what had looked like a wonderful idea now seemed complicated and risky. Being a man of reflection looked good to Vincent. Guido, in his shoes, would have sat around and brooded all day but this was not Vincent’s style. Wasn’t he a man of action? He picked up the receiver, then put it down. What was he supposed to say?
    â€œMisty, I want you to come and have a drink with me,” he said out loud. He cleared his throat and then said it again, looking around sheepishly to see if anyone passing his office had heard.
    He picked up the telephone and dialed Misty’s office number.
    â€œMisty. This is Vincent. Vincent Cardworthy. I want you to come and have a drink with me, after work, I mean. That is, if you don’t have another engagement.”
    â€œI don’t drink,” said Misty.
    â€œWell, come out and have a glass of milk.”
    â€œI don’t drink milk.”
    â€œI see,” said Vincent. “Well, do you have other plans?”
    â€œNo,” said Misty.
    â€œDoes that mean you will have a drink with me?” said Vincent.
    â€œNo.”
    Vincent’s head was now leaning heavily on his hand. He had never felt so miserable in his life.
    â€œWould you consider dinner?” he said.
    â€œYes,” said Misty.
    â€œI don’t understand,” said Vincent. Relief flooded his muscles the way morphine does. “How come you’ll have dinner if you won’t have a drink?”
    â€œI don’t drink,” said Misty. “And I hate bars.”
    They sat in a restaurant around