Hardcore: Volume 2 by Staci Hart Read Free Book Online

nipped at my skin, prickled with sweat. I knew where I wanted to go and made my way there, jumping and climbing my way to the one place I could get close to him again.

    When I reached the top of Logan Tower, I walked the length of the roof with my chest heaving and hands hung on my hips, looking out over Manhattan with the setting sun against my face. The sky was a gradient of colors, from the blazing oranges and yellows at the horizon to the rich purples of what would soon be night. The high, flat clouds were pink and yellow, and my eyes feasted on one of those rare sunsets that left you wondering how it could possibly be real.  
    I wasn’t sure why I’d gone there again. To say goodbye, maybe. To let him go. To put the whole thing behind me so I could do what I needed to do without breaking. I didn’t know when everything had gotten so out of hand, and I traced my choices backwards until I could see the whole thing for what it was.
    All the things I’d spent my life running from had finally caught up with me.
    Everyone thought I was strong, and when it came to my body, I was. I was fearless. Physical pain was nothing. And I could always be strong for Jill because taking care of her, being there for her was easy. Being strong for myself was another thing entirely. When it came to my heart, I was terrified. Locking it away was easier than risking it. It was a fact proved by my feelings for Van.  
    Erin was right. I didn’t tell the truth because I didn’t want to be rejected, not again. My parents were the first, the ones who ingrained in me that I wasn’t worth keeping. Jill would reject me if she knew the truth, just like Van. Erin was the only one who was safe because I never committed to more, and she never asked for more.  
    I lied to them to protect myself. You can’t be rejected if you don’t care, so I tried not to care about anything. But that was the biggest lie of all.
    “Cory?”
    Van’s voice tore through my body, the shock of it almost paralyzing. I turned to find him standing behind me, drenched in sweat, face bent in confusion and disbelief. The fading sunlight shone on him, painting him gold, his skin glistening like he was made of stardust.
    “I…” My words were a pile-up in my throat as we stared at each other.  
    He forced the emotion from his face, but I could see him fighting for composure. I couldn’t even do that much.  
    Van climbed up next to me, and we sat in silence together with our eyes on the horizon.  
    His eyes didn’t leave the sky when he asked a quiet question, only in part to me. “Why am I so hung up on you?”
    The sun reflected off buildings in brilliant colors, and I couldn’t look at him, couldn’t let him see me. I didn’t have any more answers to that question than he did. “I’ve been asking myself the same thing.”
    He threaded his fingers in his lap. “You’re right, you know. I don’t even know you. But I at least wanted the chance to find out. I don’t know what you did to me, but I can’t let it go.”
      The backs of my eyes burned, and I bit my lip hard, willing myself not to cry. “I’m sorry.”
    “I’ve been looking for answers, reasons why you’re not willing to try. I ran tonight to try to get you out of my head and ended up running into you. Something tells me that if you weren’t still thinking about me, you wouldn’t be here.”
    “You’re right.” The words were quiet and honest.
    He turned his dark eyes on me. “Then why, Cory? Tell me why we can’t do this when everything you do, every look tells me you want me? You know that I want you. Every cell in my body wants you. So why would you walk away? I need to know.”
    I fought to hold onto my emotions, unwilling to meet his eyes. “I … it’s complicated.”
    Van shook his head, frustrated. “Don’t give me that bullshit. Tell me the truth.”
    I wanted to tell him, needed to tell him. But telling him meant that my life would go full nuclear. I had to get out of