Harold Pinter Plays 2 by Harold Pinter Read Free Book Online

impressed by that.
    DAVIES. Eh?
    MICK. I’m very impressed by what you’ve just said.
    Pause.
    Yes, that’s impressive, that is.
    Pause.
    I’m impressed, anyway.
    DAVIES. You know what I’m talking about then?
    MICK. Yes, I know. I think we understand one another.
    DAVIES. Uh? Well … I’ll tell you … I’d … I’d like to think that. You been playing me about, you know. I don’t know why. I never done you no harm.
    MICK. No, you know what it was? We just got off on the wrong foot That’s all it was.
    DAVIES. Ay, we did.
    DAVIES joins MICK in junk.
    MICK. Like a sandwich?
    DAVIES. What?
    MICK (taking a sandwich from his pocket). Have one of these.
    DAVIES. Don’t you pull anything.
    MICK. No, you’re still not understanding me. I can’t help being interested in any friend of my brother’s. I mean, you’re my brother’s friend, aren’t you?
    DAVIES. Well, I … I wouldn’t put it as far as that.
    MICK. Don’t you find him friendly, then?
    DAVIES. Well, I wouldn’t say we was all that friends. I mean, he done me no harm, but I wouldn’t say he was any particular friend of mine. What’s in that sandwich, then?
    MICK. Cheese.
    DAVIES. That’ll do me.
    MICK. Take one.
    DAVIES. Thank you, mister.
    MICK. I’m sorry to hear my brother’s not very friendly.
    DAVIES. He’s friendly, he’s friendly, I didn’t say he wasn’t.…
    MICK (taking a salt-cellar from his pocket). Salt?
    DAVIES. No thanks. (He munches the sandwich.) I just can’t exactly … make him out.
    MICK (feeling in his pocket). I forgot the pepper.
    DAVIES. Just can’t get the hang of him, that’s all.
    MICK. I had a bit of beetroot somewhere. Must have mislaid it.
    Pause.
    DAVIES chews the sandwich. MICK watches him eat. He then rises and strolls downstage.
    Uuh … listen … can I ask your advice? I mean, you’re a man of the world. Can I ask your advice about something?
    DAVIES. You go right ahead.
    MICK. Well, what it is, you see, I’m … I’m a bit worried about my brother.
    DAVIES. Your brother?
    MICK. Yes … you see, his trouble is.…
    DAVIES. What?
    MICK. Well, it’s not a very nice thing to say.…
    DAVIES (rising, coming downstage). Go on now, you say it.
    MICK looks at him.
    MICK. He doesn’t like work.
    Pause.
    DAVIES. Go on!
    MICK. No, he just doesn’t like work, that’s his trouble.
    DAVIES. Is that a fact?
    MICK. It’s a terrible thing to have to say about your own brother.
    DAVIES. Ay.
    MICK. He’s just shy of it. Very shy of it.
    DAVIES. I know that sort.
    MICK. You know the type?
    DAVIES. I’ve met them.
    MICK. I mean, I want to get him going in the world.
    DAVIES. Stands to reason, man.
    MICK. If you got an older brother you want to push him on, you want to see him make his way. Can’t have him idle, he’s only doing himself harm. That’s what I say.
    DAVIES. Yes.
    MICK. But he won’t buckle down to the job.
    DAVIES. He don’t like work.
    MICK. Work shy.
    DAVIES. Sounds like it to me.
    MICK. You’ve met the type, have you?
    DAVIES. Me? I know that sort.
    MICK. Yes.
    DAVIES. I know that sort. I’ve met them.
    MICK. Causing me great anxiety. You see, I’m a working man: I’m a tradesman. I’ve got my own van.
    DAVIES. Is that a fact?
    MICK. He’s supposed to be doing a little job for me … I keep him here to do a little job … but I don’t know … I’m coming to the conclusion he’s a slow worker.
    Pause.
    What would your advice be?
    DAVIES. Well … he’s a funny bloke, your brother.
    MICK. What?
    DAVIES. I was saying, he’s … he’s a bit of a funny bloke, your brother.
    MICK stares at him.
    MICK. Funny? Why?
    DAVIES. Well … he’s funny.…
    MICK. What’s funny about him?
    Pause.
    DAVIES. Not liking work.

    MICK. What’s funny about that?
    DAVIES. Nothing.
    Pause.
    MICK. I don’t call it funny.
    DAVIES. Nor me.
    MICK. You don’t want to start getting hypercritical.
    DAVIES. No, no, I wasn’t that, I wasn’t … I was only saying.…
    MICK. Don’t get too glib.
    DAVIES.