Harpy Thyme by Piers Anthony Read Free Book Online

Crombie. That's his talent: to point to anything.!”
    Gloha considered. “That might do it. But isn't your father pretty old, considering how aged you are?”
    Tandy smiled in a way that reminded Gloha oddly of Aunt Goldy, who was of that general generation. “Exceedingly old. I think he recently had his ninety-first birthday. But he was once a major character in Xanth; and old characters never die, they just fade away. We just have to talk to him before he fades too far.”
    “That makes sense,” Gloha agreed. “Do you know where he is now?”
    “Oh, yes. He lives down in the underworld with my mother Jewel the Nymph.”
    “She must be horribly old too.”
    “Yes and no. Nymphs are ageless, really, remaining young and sexy forever or until they turn mortal. Jewel turned mortal when she married Crombie and sent off to the stork for me. So if we figure she was an apparent age of twenty then, she would be an apparent age of seventy now. That's probably manageable.”
    “I suppose so,” Gloha agreed doubtfully. “But I'm not sure I could find my way through the underworld.”
    “Unfortunately I'm only half nymph; I look my age. But I'm still spry enough to show you the way to my father's home.”
    “Oh, wonderful!” Gloha exclaimed with guileless little glee, clapping her happy little hands.
    “First we have to get to Lake Ogre-Chobee,” Tandy said, scribbling a note. “The entrance to the underworld is there. Fortunately that's not too far from here. I can't fly, of course, so it will be slow, but we'll get there.”
    Gloha hoped it wouldn't be too slow. She did want to get there before the five months it would take to check with Humfrey's other wives was done. But of course she didn't say that, because it might upset Tandy and make her even slower.
    Tandy pinned the note to a chair. Gloha saw that it said “SMASH-visiting folks-back soon. TANDY.” Then Tandy went out to her kitchen garden, where she dug out a plant.
    “Oh-to eat along the way?” Gloha asked.
    “No, this is a light bulb, to make my poor old body light. In my youth I rode a night mare, but I am beyond that now.” Tandy tucked the bulb into a pocket, and indeed, she did seem to step lighter now.
    “I don't suppose you also grow heavy bulbs,” Gloha said.
    “Oh, yes, I do. But Smash uses them, when he's feeling light-headed; they bring more gravity to his thoughts.”
    They set off through the jungle. Gloha was concerned about encountering land monsters here who might try to eat them, but then saw that Tandy's shirt said OGRE'S WIFE across the back. That probably protected her from most creatures. Who among them would care to risk the wrath of an ogre?
    The light bulb did seem to make Tandy faster on her feet; she was quite spritely. She fairly bounded along, while Gloha flew low. They followed a path marked by saplings twisted into pretzel knots and boulders cracked open by powerful blows. An ogre path, obviously.
    Then they heard something. It was a weird sort of squishy noise smelling of fresh mud. It seemed to be moving on a course that would intercept their path somewhere ahead. “What is that?” Gloha asked nervously.
    “I'm sure I don't know,” Tandy replied. “Let's go see.”
    Gloha had an opposite notion, but did not want to be negative, so she agreed. They hurried forward toward the place the noise would soon be. In a moment Gloha was flying ahead, outdistancing Tandy.
    It turned out to be a mud slide. Rich brown mud was coursing through the forest. The only problem was that there was no slope from which it was sliding. It was moving along the level ground, or even uphill.
    The mud slewed to a stop. “Ho!” someone called from beyond.
    Gloha flew up to see who it was. There to her special amazement was an old, old man sitting on a huge dinner plate set on the mud. Behind him was a prettily decorated cabin with little white curtains in the windows.
    Gloha hovered before the man, perplexed. He looked vaguely familiar.