Having It All by Kati Wilde Read Free Book Online Page B

taken. So now I’m thinking that maybe you’re feeling the same way, but you haven’t written it out, and you’ve got pages and pages of ‘I’m sorry’ building up in you right now. But I don’t want them. You remember what I wrote back to you and said?”
    “I do,” she whispers. “So let me go, Saxon.”
    I don’t want to but I do, and watch her walk around the bed and open up a drawer in the nightstand. She pulls out a note and unfolds it. The creases are tattered. The paper’s all but falling apart. She hands it to me and it’s a punch to my chest. There’s my response to her. My writing.
    Don’t you EVER be sorry. I’m not.
    —Sax
    My throat feels thick as hell. She kept this. And by the state of the paper, I guess she must have unfolded and read it hundreds of times. I swallow hard and say, “My answer this time is just the same. Last night? That was on Reichmann, not you. And I’m not sorry. I wasn’t sorry for going to prison when I didn’t know you, and I’m sure as hell not sorry for being with you last night. Even if it had killed me. All I care about is whether you’re safe.”
    She flinches when I say it might have killed me. “You think I care less whether you’re safe?”
    “No. But would you be sorry for taking a bullet for me? That’s never going to fucking happen. But just saying. Would you be sorry?”
    Her eyes close. “Are you saying you wouldn’t feel guilty if I did?”
    Fuck. I walked right into that. “It’s never going to happen,” I say again and she smiles a little.
    But despite the curve of her lips, her eyes are haunted when she looks up at me again. “So there’s nothing I should ever be sorry for?”
    I can’t think of a damn thing. With a shake of my head, I give her back the note. “No. But I’m sorry I didn’t write you a better letter.”
    “There’s nothing better,” she says quietly and opens the nightstand drawer again. I slide up behind her and love her ragged little sigh when my lips press against the side of her neck. She turns and her mouth is soft and trembling against mine. I take a long, deep taste, and when she moans low in her throat, I tease her, sucking on the tip of her tongue until she shivers, tugging her plump bottom lip between my teeth and licking my way back inside.
    Need burns through the heavy warmth dragging down every muscle. It’s only a step to the bed, then I’m pulling her over me. She weighs almost nothing, her thighs straddling my stomach as she follows me down.
    “Wait.” All at once she pulls away, her pink lips swollen. “You can’t even smile. Kissing has to hurt.”
    It’s fucking agony. “I don’t care.”
    “I do.” She pushes at my chest, sitting up. “If it was the other way, and you knew kissing was hurting me—”
    “Jenny.” I catch her chin and make her look at me. “It’s not the other way. And I’m already hurting. So hurting while kissing you? That’s a good option.”
    Her green eyes narrow. Her gaze drops to the bandage on my jaw, then my neck. “Just tell me if it hurts more, then,” she says before she slips farther down and begins tugging at my belt.
    Shit. My cock’s so fucking stiff when she pops the first button, that hurts more. But a damn good hurt. A groan rumbles up through my chest when she uses the edge of her teeth to tease my shaft through the straining denim, and her focus flies to my face, as if she’s trying to decide whether that was a good pain or a bad one.
    “It’s all good, princess.” So fucking good.
    Though it shouldn’t be. I’m lying in a bed I haven’t earned, with a woman I don’t deserve, and who’s eaten up with guilt though I haven’t protected her like I should.
    Fuck. That hurts more than anything.
    “Jenny,” I say hoarsely. “Come back up. Just lie here with me.”
    Her brow creases with concern. She’s immediately at my side and her hands are everywhere, gingerly touching my face, the edges of the bandages. “Why? Are you