Head of the River by Pip Harry Read Free Book Online Page B

stuff. Second – he looks a mess and there’s blood on his T-shirt. I’ve never seen Adam without product in his hair and matching clothes, even on the riverbank. Even when we are alone together.
    â€˜I’ll let you in,’ I whisper.
    I turn the front door latch gently and push him into my bedroom, closing the door behind us.
    â€˜What’s wrong?’
    Adam sits down on the bed. He puts his arms around his body and silently howls, like that painting we studied in school, The Scream . I hug him awkwardly. He’s cold and shaking.
    â€˜Adam, are you okay?’ I ask. It seems inadequate.
    â€˜Yes … no. I don’t know.’
    I peel his palm away from his forehead. He has a small gash above his eyebrow and a shiny lump.
    I know a bit about head injuries from the time Cristian blacked out during a rugby tackle, got concussion and had to sit out for three weeks.
    â€˜Are you dizzy? Do you feel sick? Maybe we should go to emergency.’
    â€˜No. I’m not going to the hospital,’ says Adam.
    â€˜Just to get it looked at, make sure it’s not serious.’
    â€˜It was my fault. I got kicked out of the firsts. Westie’s doing a cull. First Cristian, now me. I’m not strong enough. Not tough enough.’
    â€˜There’s no one tougher than you,’ I say. Adam will row until he vomits. In the rain, cold, rough water, forty-degree heat. He never complains.
    â€˜Can I have a better look?’ I say.
    I turn my bedside lamp onto his wound. It’s not too bad but it might need stitches.
    â€˜What happened?’
    â€˜My brothers rowed in the firsts, Dad, Granddad. I can’t row in the seconds. Not this year. Do you know how many boats my father has bought the school? Do you know what they cost ?’
    I feel sick to my stomach.
    â€˜Who did this to you?’ I ask, thinking the worst.
    â€˜I did,’ Adam whispers.
    â€˜Why?’ I feel confused and upset. Why would anyone do this to themselves? Especially not Adam. He always seems so together. So dependable.
    â€˜I was fighting with Dad and he was calling me a pathetic loser and making me feel like nothing. Like I didn’t matter. I got so angry I banged my head against the table. He made me feel so bad about myself; it actually felt better to do this instead. I ran away and came here. I didn’t know what else to do.’
    â€˜The glass table? In the living room?’ I picture the designer table with its thick, square edges, magazines stacked artfully on the surface.
    â€˜Yep.’
    â€˜Adam. You could have knocked yourself out.’
    â€˜That was the idea, Leni. At least it shut him up. I couldn’t stand it anymore. He is always, always down on me. Something snapped. Haven’t you ever snapped?’
    I think about it. He wants something from me that I can’t give. I’ve never felt out of control.
    â€˜Not like this. You don’t want to give yourself brain damage because you’re not in the firsts.’
    â€˜It’s okay for you, you’re never going to get chucked out of your crew.’
    â€˜How do you know that? Promise me you won’t do anything like this again.’ I grab his hands and squeeze them.
    â€˜I don’t think I will,’ says Adam.
    â€˜Let’s wake Mum up. She can take a look.’
    â€˜Don’t worry about it, Leni. I shouldn’t have come here. I’ll go home.’
    He gets up to leave and I pull him back. He won’t look me in the eye.
    â€˜Adam. Stay.’
    Adam looks pale. ‘I have a headache.’
    â€˜I gotta wake Mum,’ I say. Her home medical kit should sort out a cut like this.
    â€˜Don’t tell them it was me. Make something up. Tell them my dad’s away. Overseas.’
    â€˜Okay,’ I agree. He lets my fingers slip away.
    I wait at the door of my parents’ room for a moment, thinking how with one knock, everything would change. I’d be