never bothered me as much as it did right now.
After I managed to ignore him while brushing my teeth, I walked into my closet to get dressed for the day. I looked around at all of the clothes and shoes couldn’t have cared less what I was going to wear. As I stood in the closet, I wondered what crossed Rick’s mind as he passed his ruined clothing in the foyer. Good thing he had the good sense not to mention it.
“Charlie! Are you going to talk to me?” His voice was desperate now and I hated how bad I wanted him to get on one knee and beg for my forgiveness. I wanted him to take me in his arms and promise me he would never ever hurt me like this again. But I knew if he attempted to touch me, I would scream and try to claw my way out of his arms, although at this very moment, it was all I really wanted.
I looked up at him and as soon as my eyes met his, I was reminded why I always saw my forever when I looked into his eyes. But now, all I saw was his betrayal. Now, all I saw was him with her ; his slut. “Look, Rick. I think it would be best if you just went to your parents’ house or something cause you can’t stay here.” I tried to keep my voice steady but I was breaking down inside with each word I spoke.
“Charlie, what are you talking about? It doesn’t have to be this way.”
I wanted to hit him, slap him, throw something at him. Instead, I just stood there and told myself to remain calm, looking at the man who had the nerve to cheat on me. Rick was no longer the best looking man, age hadn’t been kind to his looks, he couldn’t have his pick of women.
He ran his hand across his clean shaved head, something he always did when he was nervous or frustrated. “Can we just talk about this calmly?”
“Rick, just shut up!” I spat. I yanked a neon yellow peplum shirt from the hanger and glared at him. “I may have been stupid for marrying your ass but I ain’t stupid enough to stay in this marriage another day and be played for a fool.”
He had the gall to sigh like I was getting on his nerves. He ran his hand down his clean shaven face. “Just calm down, baby and listen to me.”
I shook my head and laughed even though nothing about this situation was funny. I took a pair of distressed boyfriend dress from their hanger and walked past Rick back into the bathroom. I was so mad, I was shaking. Why wouldn’t he just leave? I couldn’t stand to be in the same house with him. Not after what he’d done to me, to us, to our marriage.
As if he could read my mind he said, “Charlie, I’m not going anywhere. This is my house too. I pay the bills around here just like you do so you ain’t gonna just put me out.”
My shirt was halfway over my head by the time he finished his sentence and I spun around to face him with one arm in the shirt and one arm halfway through. “Are you serious? You’re really going to make it hard for me like I didn’t just catch you with some hoe last night?”
He had the audacity to nod his bald head at me.
I slowly finished putting my shirt on and then I lunged at him. I was punching, scratching, and screaming as hard as I could. But unlike last night, this time he was able to grab both of my arms and place them over my head. He tossed me on top of the bed where we once made so much love and held me there until it was obvious I couldn’t kick or punch anymore. I sighed in frustration because his strength doubled my own and there was nothing I could do but pant and cry in anger.
“I hate you!” I looked into the eyes of the man I swore my forever to and couldn’t believe he’d brought this much pain to my heart.
“Charlie, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I broke into a flood of tears that not even a levy would be able to stop. This was real. This was really happening, and there was nothing I could do to make this any less real, or hurt any less.
Rick attempted to hold my trembling body but I kicked him off of me and screamed for him to leave me the