laced her jeweled fingers together and rested them on her knee. âThere is one other thing I wish to discuss with you before I go. Faith.â
âI doubt we share much in that regard, lady.â
âMore than you might think. You serve your goddess faithfully, as I do mine. Without that devotion to guide it, your life would have no purpose. Yet you are tempted bylove, as I was, and you do not know how to reconcile the two. Do you deny it?â
Behind his calm facade Kellandâs temper began to burn. He reined it back firmly. It was no surprise that the Spider knew of his weakness; it was, after all, how her disciple had caught him in the woods. Heâd let them manipulate him once. It would not happen again. âNo.â
âGood. Then I will tell you, and perhaps you will listen. Now, or when you are ready. I cannot, of course, force you to believe what is true.â Her smile took a wry twist. âBut you are crippled until you do. A divided heart is no proper vessel for the godsâ power. So.
âWe spend our lives in service to our gods, and yet we know so little of what they require. Oh, we know the simplest rules. Sunlight. Pain. But beyond that? Laws and oaths are handed down through the ages, and some of them truly must be observed, while others ⦠others, I think, were invented by mortal men to enhance their own prestige, when the gods care nothing either way. And sometimes the intention is all that matters.
âIf I tell a lie, knowingly, my magic fails. Honesty is required of us. It is not difficult to understand why: the truth cuts deeper than any lie, and if everyone knows that the Thorns are truthbound, no one can salve his suffering by pretending otherwise. What we say must be true. That is a holy order. But if I say something that is not true, while believing it to be so, nothing happens. Perfection is not required. Intentions matter.â
âYour point?â
âIs very simple. Your oath of chastity is one where intentions make the difference. If the act is not a choice, there is no sin. Celestia does not withdraw her blessings if her servants are raped ⦠to the chagrin of some of mylordâs soldiers, who had hoped we might have found an easy solution there. And if the act is an expression of love, rather than baser desires, there is no impurity of the soul and, again, no loss of your Bright Ladyâs blessing.â
âBysshelios believed that,â Kelland said grimly. The Bysshelline Heresy had nearly torn the Celestian faith in two before it was stamped out. The infighting had ended less than a century ago, and the rifts were not yet healed. Some of the villages in the remote reaches of the Cathilcarns still clung to Bysshelline beliefs.
âHe was right.â
âHe was a heretic.â
âHeresies seldom survive, much less spread, without some truth at their core.â
Kelland shook his head. The cowrie shells braided into his hair clinked. âPretty promises from a treacherous tongue. You will forgive me, lady, if I choose to believe the High Solaros over you when it comes to the strictures of my faith.â
âAs you like,â the Spider murmured. âI cannot force you to believe. But I hope you will come to accept the truth soon, as you are useless until you do.â
âIâm sorry to disappoint you.â
âIt is not me you disappoint. It is your faith that needs you, not I. They are the ones in danger.â She bowed her head politely as she rose to depart. âBut now it is near sunset, and I will take my leave. I should not wish to interfere with your prayers.â
3
T hirteen.
Sweat dripped into Asharreâs eyes as she pulled her chin up over her knotted fists and the iron bar between them. She blinked it away, ignoring the sting, and lowered herself with deliberate slowness. Her arms burned, her jaw was clenched so tight it ached, and her feet were going numb from the weights around